Post your favorite dumb joke here

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Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
I rang the bell of this small bed-and breakfast place, whereupon a lady appeared at an outside window. "What do you want?", she asked. "I want to stay here", I replied. "Well, stay there then", she said and closed the window.
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
I was walking along the road. I knew I was walking because one foot was following the other. A car drew up beside me and stopped. The driver opened the door and asked me if he could give me a lift. I replied that I didn't need a lift as I lived in a bungalow.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog
. Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!

Doctor, doctor every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy
• how long have you been getting these disney spells?

Doctor, doctor I can't help it, I just keep thinking I'm a moth
• you need a psychiatrist not a doctor
I know, but I was walking past and I saw your light was on..

Doctor doctor I can't help thinking I'm a goat
• how long have you felt like this?
Since I was a kid..

Doctor, doctor I feel like a sheep.
• oh that's very baaaaaaaad!

Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
• pull yourselves together man
 

SinisterKid

We either find a way, or make one.
SF Supporter
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
 
Guy gets to work late, boss tells him he's fired, get out, never come back.

He starts driving home, gets t-boned at an intersection by a kid with no insurance. Car is totaled.

He takes a bus home, hears sex sounds coming from upstairs. Sneaks up, find his wife in bed with his best friend. Tells his wife get up, get dressed, get out NOW!

Turns to his best friend and says and as for you...







Bad dog. Bad dog!
 
A pirate walks into a bar. He's a typical pirate. He has a peg leg, eye patch, a parrot on his shoulder. He sits down at the bar and orders his drink. The bartender looks him over, gets the drink and then has to ask the pirate, "Are you aware you have a ship's steering wheel attached to the zipper of your pants?"

The pirate looks irritated and exclaims in a typical pirate voice, "Arrrrg, I know. It's driving me nuts!"
 

Vanzelouiz

Well-Known Member
here it goes.

-So my girlfriend got a tattoo last week on her inner thy.
Is very beautiful is a seashell and if you put your ear on it you can smell the sea.
 

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

I've just been diagnosed as color blind - it came totally out of the purple!

5/4 people admit they're bad with fractions.
 
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