post your jokes here

Discussion in 'The Gameroom' started by YODA1066, Sep 25, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. YODA1066

    YODA1066 Well-Known Member

    Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?

    1. Ask for last months specials.

    2. Place your order in three different languages if you don't know any, make them up....

    3. When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.

    4. Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they don't have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal and say i don't know what's up with kids these days.

    5. Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.

    6. When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft beer.

    7. In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while ordering in drive through.

    8. Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.

    9. Go through the drive through in reverse, again.

    10. Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.

    11. Check oil in drive through, possibly touch up the windscreen with some glass cleaner.

    12. Walk up to drive through window with hands in the air like your holding onto a steering wheel.

    13. Go through drive through and ask for directions to the place you're at.

    14. Go through drive through naked, excluding the rabbit slippers of course!

    15. Go inside and ask in a load voice if they got rid of the Ebola problems they've been having

    16. Argue with your passenger (that's not there) and continue until you pay.

    17. When they ask if that will be all tell them to hold on, your dog won't make up his mind.

    18. After eating half your meal return it and say you got the wrong thing and ask for a refund.

    19. As you're pulling away and they say "Have a nice day!" (with that retarded smile) put the car in reverse and ask them what the hell that's supposed to mean.

    20. Order something from one fast food place then go to another drive through when they give you your food take one bite and say "No thank you
    this tastes better (pointing to bag from other place), may i have my money back."

    21. Play name that tune with person taking the order.

    22. Pretend your deaf and order in sign language.

    23. Go through Taco Bell order the 7 layer burrito. When they repeat your order ask if each layer of the burrito is sold separately.

    24. When they ask how you are today proceed by telling them about your diarrhea problems, most likely due to the burger you bought from them yesterday and the day before that.

    25. Go through a drive through after they tell you to pull to the window drive past it and go inside to get your order.

    Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________."

    Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

    "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"...

    Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba.

    "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."

    "Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

    "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled - E-I-E-I-O."


    Reasons to be single

    Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment....

    I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.

    I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.

    I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".

    I'd be painting the town instead of the house.

    When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.

    I could show my girlfriend where I live.

    I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.

    The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.

    I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.

    I wouldn't catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!

    I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.

    I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.

    You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!

    Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.

    Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.

    I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.

    I could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.

    I could use my own name at hotels.

    I wouldn't have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere

  2. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    When I was a kid me and my friend played a good joke on cars driving by. We pretended to be in a street fight and had tomato ketchup in our mouth and as the cars drove by we would pretend to get punched in the face while spitting out the ketchup so it looked like blood from the punch lol. No one stopped or seemed the care that 2 kids were fighting though, maybe were not meant to be actors. Good times

    Hopefully this thread gets some replies
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.