Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by neverdie, Apr 14, 2008.

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  1. neverdie

    neverdie Guest

    This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in
    our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. 'Here, hold Johnny (our three-month-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

    I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

    I love mustard.

    I had no napkin.

    I licked it off.

    It was not mustard.

    No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do: only I did it on my tongue.

    Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said:

    'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard. . 'Poupon.'

  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    EEWWWWWWW!!! :puke:

  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

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