praying for an anwser...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sd-239192, Jan 19, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    god help me... this need, the urges to destroy myself are just too much... i have spent months clean of all of this... but every day and night i dream about going back to cutting... i try to keep my mind off of it... but i just cant its always there everywhere i go it haunts me... i just want this to stop. i want the urges gone... i want to stop wanting, stop needing. but i cant, its part of me... and always will be, I'm sorry i cant stop this...
  2. OliviaMcnamara

    OliviaMcnamara New Member

    What usually triggers the urge to cut yourself. I firmly believe something has to trigger it like uncontrollable rage. Then think about what triggers that rage, then think about if what triggers that rage is worth keeping in your life. I'm probably off point but I'm trying to relate by thinking of my experiences. My emotional and physical relationship always made me cut myself. I'd feel worthless and empty and felt like no one cared so I'd cut myself.
  3. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    stress... for the moments when i cut i only feel the blades... no worry... no fear, nothing but a dull tearing...
  4. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    I was exactly where you are about 5 months ago. Last year was one of the best years of my life, I didnt feel depressed at all, I didnt cut, I was feeling so great, I had tons of friends and tons of fun. Then, it seemed to me, out of nowhere came the urge to cut and the feelings of self hatred again. I was so frusterated and I felt like I would never get rid of my feelings of depression that I would forever be intangled in the web of misery I found myself. I know it seems impossible, but I promise you that you are not stuck with this forever. Its not going to go away over night either. It gets easier to catch yourself before you fall so deeply into the darkness and you will stay longer in phases of light. You may be correct in that this is a challenge you will have to face forever, but you dont' have to face it in this way. You don't have to turn to cutting when life is getting to you. You can and will find other ways to relieve stress and to find peace from anxiety. Its hard and it will take a long time to overcome it. But realize how long it took you to get where you are, how many years you probably spent feeling miserable, its going to take a long time to break the addiction to depression. It can happen tho! Hang in there!
  5. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    it is difficult... this i know, and now i have to start all over again...
  6. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    are you cutting now?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.