Prefer masturbating to sex

[SadDude87]

Think it'll be like this forever?

I do have sexual desire, I imagine nude women and having sex with women when I jack off.

I like touch, I like giving and receiving massages, I like cuddling, etc etc

I like masturbating

But the actual mechanics of sex, I don't. I just feel numb and disconnected. At first I thought it was performance anxiety, but even when I'm totally relaxed... there is no spark. No wonderful feeling. My hand feels so much better. I can pound away until I/she is bored of it/comes, then to be honest I'm relieved to stop so I can pleasure myself. I don't feel pleasure from it, I can't cum.

Help?

 

[Dave_N]

The problem is that you've gotten used to the way that YOU do it to yourself, but when you have sex, it just doesn't feel right. This often happens when you have a special way of pleasuring yourself. Maybe more communication during sex might help?

 

[aoeu]

Who are you trying it with? Women you love?

Have you had them try handjobs on you?

 

[LenaLunacy]

I hate sex. I've had sex with four different guys so far and each time i've not got any pleasure from it. I try to avoid doing it where possible, and everytime i do it's cos the guy wants to.
But i love masturbating and often do it once, twice a day.
I know another guy who's the same, doesn't like having sex but likes masturbating and handjobs.

 

[aoeu]

I have a feeling that's because those guys have no idea what they're doing. They're doing what they want, not what would feel good to you... Such a waste.

 

[Anju]

If you're suffering from depression that might have something to do with it?

But I know a couple of people (myself included I guess) who are the same, I think it's just cause you know exactly how you like it or something :unsure:

 

[aoeu]

Well, for girls it's different. A lot of them have trouble getting to orgasm with somebody else, even doing the exact same things. There's some emotional difficulties involved. But you should still be able to find some pleasure.

 

[SadDude87]

Yeah, I do like handjobs. Maybe I'm just too used to the ease of orgasm when I'm by myself. Also, when having sex if it doesn't feel good right away I panic about losing my erection .... which obviously is a self fulfilling prophecy and doesn't help at all.

With masturbation/hand job I don't have to worry about that

 

[A_pixie]

Mutual masturbaton?

 

[Mightbehere]

Yes I like masturbation far better then sex...sex was very disappointing but the person I was with enjoyed it...maybe it was because I was so depressed.

 

[Dave_N]

Maybe there is a link between depression and lack of sexual desire?

 

[aoeu]

Well, there's a definite difference in intensity of sensation. I don't think it's anything to worry about... Just do what feels good for the both of you.

 

[DrowningInTears]

and im wondering if it [sex] worth trying out. so many people sound dissapointed in it on this thread. well first i would have to have somebody i cared about enough to do that with.

 

[aoeu]

This is a thread focused on people who don't like sex. It's not a fair sample.

 

[DrowningInTears]

i just don't see how anything could be better than food

 

[Dave_N]

i just don't see how anything could be better than food

So I guess you prefer chocolate over sex then. :laugh:

 

[DrowningInTears]

I'm not that big of a chocolate guy. I want the stuff that sticks to your ribs, The barbeque, the good solid stuff, anything thats a Buffet Chinese Mexican Pizza anywhere you can eat as much as you want. I dunno can sex really be better than eating? I guess everyone has to hav some 'vice' in their life.

 

[aoeu]

I find pleasure in neither sex nor eating. I like the interpersonal contact of sex, and I can't help but to eat lots or masturbate lots...

Pain and dominance are my pleasure, but there aren't nearly enough kinky girls.

 

[jameslyons]

I find pleasure in the intimacy of sex. It's a fun experience.

But I'm a bit of a vain prick. I often get a self-image boost when I'm with my partner whomever they may be. It's not that they're ugly, just not perfect. And I have a high opinion of myself where I can say, "I'm not the most attractive person, but I'm definitely not the ugliest."

It sounds terrible to say. Jeez, I better not admit that during cuddle talk:biggrin:

 

[Aquariamethystea]

I'm not that big of a chocolate guy. I want the stuff that sticks to your ribs, The barbeque, the good solid stuff, anything thats a Buffet Chinese Mexican Pizza anywhere you can eat as much as you want. I dunno can sex really be better than eating? I guess everyone has to hav some 'vice' in their life.

I agree with you about barbeque. Extra smokey char-coated pork, is much better than sex. Well, at least that's sex without the love aspect. Love might be better than pork. However, pork doesn't get psychotic on you, pork doesn't divorce you and sue you for alimony, and pork costs alot less money.