Pregnant and depressed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Xobriiiii, Nov 12, 2014.

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  1. Xobriiiii

    Xobriiiii New Member

    I am currently 29 weeks pregnant. I have suffered depression throughout my pregnancy and well before I found out that my boyfriend of four years and I are expecting our first child. This pregnancy has been incredibly hard on me, it's been very stressful and it is not what I thought pregnancy would be. I am excited to start this new path but I keep having suicidal thoughts, sometimes multiple times a day. I could never kill myself while I have a baby girl growing inside of me; depending on me. I am only 19 years old and I feel like my world is fading away. I live with my mom, I'm unemployed, and probably going to be homeless soon enough because my mom is unable to pay rent. Although my boyfriends mom has offered us her basement as a temporary place to stay, we are not staying there because I don't feel comfortable in doing so because of my past relationship with his mom. His mom has verbally attacked me on several occasions and I do not want her breathing down my neck 24/7. My boyfriend has an amazing career that pays well but it is not enough for three people to live off of. I feel so useless and helpless. Im basically counting down the days until I can comit suicide and not be anyone's burden. I feel like , making my boyfriend pay for my phone bill, food, necessities, ect, none of that is his responsibility but.. I don't know. He probably just feels sorry for me at this point. Without him paying for the things I need, I would starve our child because my mom can barely afford food. She buys a few things such as bread and milk every few weeks, but there's never a meal made inside of our home. Before I was pregnant I was depressed, because of family issues, and life. I felt like there was no point in living, like life is the ultimate joke. What. Is. The. Point? There is none. I can't wait until this pregnancy is over, everyone will be better off without me. I'm a loser and have not accomplished anything for myself. I have nothing going for me.
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry to here that you are down and your boyfriend's mother is giving you a hard time. Don't worry but do as jasp says. It should be the best time of your life but please do not act on your feelings. Talk to your boyfriend and try to be happy. I know it's hard but do not fret.
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    depending on where you live. In the US you will qualify for welfare/food stamps (its a good news that youre not yet married- this goes into your favor to get more assistance) some states have great programs for single (even if you have a bf youre not married yet) pregnant mothers and their babies with medicaid as they do care about you and your unborn daughter.

    Have you looked into this? Look up your social services agency and ask around what you can qualify for and seize the opportunity.
     
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