Pregnant friend

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by dying_inside, May 30, 2011.

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  1. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    A few weeks ago my best friend told me she is pregnant.

    the news struck me and shocked me so bad. i couldnt help but thinking that "everybody go on with their lives while im the only one stuck in an endless hopeless present".

    my reaction was (and still is): i dont want her as my friend anymore. i have to burn bridges with her.

    i know its a wrong reaction, she is my best friend, but i cant help it.
    it makes me see what i dont have and will never have and it makes me feel suicidal.

    also, i dont feel like going on pretending everything in fine and im happy for her and put up a fake smile while everything is not ok, im not happy for her and i dont feel like smiling at all.

    i managed not to see her during these weeks, but sooner or later i'll have to see her i guess... maybe even tonight.

    what should i do? how should i behave with her?
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I can see why you would feel resentment for the fact that you're struggling with so much pain, whilst she is experiencing so much joy and hope for the future. Are you able to feel anything positive for her despite feeling the resentment for yourself too?

    Is she the kind of friend you could open to up to about maybe some of what you're feeling?
     
  3. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    It is very hard for me to feel anything positive for her while im overwhelmed by suicide thoughts every day.

    and, to tell the truth, im not convinced she is ready to have a baby and i dont have much faith that she will be able to be a good mother. but obviously i cant tell her what i think.

    also, im sure she knows how i feel (not happy about the baby) without me having to explain to her whats going on with me.

    i'll see her tonight and im afraid im going to ruin our friendship. even if honestly, a part of me is convinced our friendhsip is already finished since she told me the news.

    should i try to pretend im happy for her? im not sure i can.. but should i try?
     
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    It all really depends on how much you value your friendship with her. Is it worth losing her as a friend over this or is it something you think you can overcome in time?
     
  5. dying_inside

    dying_inside Well-Known Member

    Thank you Avarice,

    your words hit me and i've thought about it and i've decided i cant break this friendship without giving it a chance.

    i wont pretend, i wont fake a smile but i wont stop seeing her "just because" either.

    i'll just let it go as it goes and see what happens.

    Thanks
     
  6. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear you'll give it a chance. Pregnancy can be quite a scary thing for a woman to go through, she probably needs her friends now more than ever. :smile:
     
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