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lost soul

Just as I thought things were getting therre, BANG!!!!

I find out I am pregnant :sad:.

Not a good situation, I know for sure whose baby it is and I really don't want it.

I can't sleep, I am making myself sick in worry, in the hope my husband doesnt find out, I hate myself!!

Why am I sooo stupid? I can't cope with this. I don't know what to do. I darent go to gp, I am so scared. I cant stop crying, I am such a coward. I have a knife here and am so tempted to kill it and me at the same time.


Staff Alumni
Please don't hurt yourself or the baby hun.. things will be ok :hug:

I wish i knew what to say to try to make things a little easier for you.. is talking to your husband a definite no-no? Is there anyone else you could talk to about this, like a good friend? How about the baby's father?

I hope you will keep yourself safe.. we're here for you
Jenny x

lost soul

my husband is a definate no and the baby's father I finally got him put in prison after years of rape and mental abuse, This baby is the last time he raped me's after effect, he has a hold on me now forever.

can;t do it


Staff Alumni
Oh i'm so sorry hun.. i didn't know :hug:

You can do this.. i know it's incredibly difficult but you don't have to do this alone..

Do you have any friends 'in real life' who you could talk to about this too?

I wish i could do more than write words on a screen.. i'm thinking of you a lot and here if you need a shoulder

Jenny xxx
Hun I really think you need to talk to someone who can advise you on these things. Are you definitly sure you're pregnant? The home tests can be wrong. Why can't you go to your gp? Maybe try a family planning clinic or something? This is a really terrible thing you're having to deal with right now, so if your head is a raging mess that's totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. But when you think that the baby is a part of him, remember that it's also a part of you and a seperate person in it's own right. Whether you decide to keep the baby or not is entirely your choice (normally I'd say the father has a say too but a rapist shouldn't be allowed any rights in society in my opinion) but please don't make that desicion too quickly or without talking to someone first. Bizarrely this could turn out to be the best thing that could happen. Unlikely right now, but you never know. All I'm saying is allow yourself to be a wreck right now, get advice, and don't rush into anything. And also, we're here to support you any time hun :hug:


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Speak to someone at the rape crisis centre hun, they will be able to help you reach a decision on what to do for the best.
Here for you night and day if you need me.


Staff Alumni

Just wanted to check back in with you and see how you're doing today? I've been thinking of you and hope you are "ok".

I never thought of the rape crisis centre.. could you speak to someone there?


lost soul

I am not 100% sure about rape crisis, I have spoken with STAR but could never speak with the counsellor. I met with her a few times, but found it so hard just to even tell her my name. I am such a closed person when I have to face someone.

I really don't want the baby and don't want my husband to know about it. I really don't know if I can even carry on with our marriage even, I know I sound really selfish. I am such an evil person I hate myself more than ever.

Unregistered MS

i've never been pregnant or married; but you are both and it sounds like you don't want to be either of those. as overwhelming as that seems, you are perfectly capable of making these tough decisions. you have to take care of yourself before you can take of anyone else. marriages and babies require lots of sacrifice, and it sounds like you've made enough of those. it's time to focus on what you need right now - that's not selfish, it's smart!

kudos, for staying strong.

lost soul

I am so sorry to be a pest. I am so scared, I think I have done something silly, maybe not silly, oh I dont even know what I mean and what is silly anymore. I am so stupid.
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