So, any ideas on how to preoccupy myself in order to basicly keep living? I seem to have landed myself in a situation where I have no friends, zero. I used to enjoy drinking quite a bit, but don't do that anymore since it cost even worse problems for me. Even a silly thing like drinking was something that made me a little happy for the time that I was doing it. I'm gonna start an education this fall, so that will be something to do, but I'm getting tired of the whole concept of having something to do for the sake of doing it. What's the point if by the end of the day it's just me? When I was younger I could tell myself that things would change as I got older, but I have now realized that things just don't change. I will always feel this way. Life is so stupid. I feel like since I was 9 years old I have been pretty much suffering through, thinking things will get better, but they haven't. It's starting to feel stupid to hold on to that hope that maybe one day I will feel differently, because what has been happening up until now in my life has done little to help me keep that hope. I don't know if I can take 10 more years of this, or 50 or whatever it might be. Is there a reason? Is there an answer to it? I don't believe in a god or anything, allthough I don't know if I would call myself an atheist, so I don't believe in that type of reason for life. When I ask myself the question, "what is the point of my life?", all I can think is; "Life is stupid, existence is meaningless". Well, MY existence is anyway.