Preparations for cremation, etc.
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Yes, I'm a similar situation.
I'm 27, no kids, no one depends on me financially, I'm single, so my passing will directly affect only my mother.
I want the whole thing to be as clean, tidy and easy as possible. From the method, to the discovery of my body to the eventual cremation.
I'm even planning a method in which my mother won't be the person who finds my body. Hopefully she'll never have to see it. Took me some time but everything seems reasonably ready.
I've already bought some of the necessary items and I'm working on the letter. I'm giving myself some 6 months to see if my life does a 180.
I'm 27, no kids, no one depends on me financially, I'm single, so my passing will directly affect only my mother.
I want the whole thing to be as clean, tidy and easy as possible. From the method, to the discovery of my body to the eventual cremation.
I'm even planning a method in which my mother won't be the person who finds my body. Hopefully she'll never have to see it. Took me some time but everything seems reasonably ready.
I've already bought some of the necessary items and I'm working on the letter. I'm giving myself some 6 months to see if my life does a 180.
I've written about my "story" in another thread, but basically I busted my ass off, double-majored in college, I'm easily more prepared than 95% of people in my business but I can't find a decent job because I don't know the right people.
I had some underpayed and shitty jobs after college, I tried to do some projects of my own but nothing worked. So I've been unemployed for two years, my social circle grew incredibly small over the years (I have essentially two people to hang out with) and I just can't deal with being a failure since I've been preparing myself for my dreams since I'm 10.
Despite the preparations I've been trying like crazy over the last year to change things (professionally and socially) but nothing seems to work out on the other end of things.
I'm not afraid of dying, it's the most natural thing in the world and the final rest of all living creatures.
The only setback would be my mother's grief, but I hope she will understand that I just couldn't carry on living. I can't live with being a failure since I always had so much promise and did everything by the book.
I want peace and rest.
I had some underpayed and shitty jobs after college, I tried to do some projects of my own but nothing worked. So I've been unemployed for two years, my social circle grew incredibly small over the years (I have essentially two people to hang out with) and I just can't deal with being a failure since I've been preparing myself for my dreams since I'm 10.
Despite the preparations I've been trying like crazy over the last year to change things (professionally and socially) but nothing seems to work out on the other end of things.
I'm not afraid of dying, it's the most natural thing in the world and the final rest of all living creatures.
The only setback would be my mother's grief, but I hope she will understand that I just couldn't carry on living. I can't live with being a failure since I always had so much promise and did everything by the book.
I want peace and rest.
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I've been dropping hints for a while and told my mum how I just don't fit in anywhere,I don't nor have I ever really enjoyed life. I've also told her I'm on this forum so I'm hoping that I'm preparing her and her grief won't be too bad. I hope I can write her a letter in which I can find the right words to absolve her from any guilt. To convince her that she could not have done or said anything that would have saved me and that I didn't want to be saved.
Please think about this, think about your mother, she will be devastated. Get some help hun, you don't have to do this. If you can see suicide as being your only option, you should be open to try anything to save your mother from all the grief and sadness it would cause her, Im asking you to please just think.
I see. My case is different. I've never, ever mentioned suicide anywhere, ever. I just don't want to risk the chance of being commited somewhere or something like it.
My mother knows the full extent of my problems, but I'm also working on the letter to make things crystal clear and explain that I just had some nasty, nasty bad luck in life.
My father is somewhat distant. He would also suffer but not as much, he would go on.
As much as we would like to admit it isn't true, most of our lives is due to chance and luck, I'd say around 80%. Hell, even your existence itself is luck.
You could say that I got a "good hand" in life right up until I was around 21. I was a good student, fairly good looking, extremely intelligent, kind, reasonably sociable, etc. Nothing "out of the norm". I always had a tendency to be melancholic and slightly shy, but nothing major or crippling.
Ever since I was around 21 however everything just started to wrong.
Yes, my mother will suffer, but how I am supposed to live unemployed, penniless, extremely unhappy, unable to work in the field I chose, seeing my dreams getting farther and farther away as time goes by and I start getting gray hairs. I just can't.
That's not living. I'm not expecting a major professional break next week, I'm just expecting something reasonable in light of my preparation and knowledge.
Natural Selection really is a bitch. In nature the "unfit" are eaten, in human society the "unfit" end homeless or kill themselves, I suppose.
My mother knows the full extent of my problems, but I'm also working on the letter to make things crystal clear and explain that I just had some nasty, nasty bad luck in life.
My father is somewhat distant. He would also suffer but not as much, he would go on.
As much as we would like to admit it isn't true, most of our lives is due to chance and luck, I'd say around 80%. Hell, even your existence itself is luck.
You could say that I got a "good hand" in life right up until I was around 21. I was a good student, fairly good looking, extremely intelligent, kind, reasonably sociable, etc. Nothing "out of the norm". I always had a tendency to be melancholic and slightly shy, but nothing major or crippling.
Ever since I was around 21 however everything just started to wrong.
Yes, my mother will suffer, but how I am supposed to live unemployed, penniless, extremely unhappy, unable to work in the field I chose, seeing my dreams getting farther and farther away as time goes by and I start getting gray hairs. I just can't.
That's not living. I'm not expecting a major professional break next week, I'm just expecting something reasonable in light of my preparation and knowledge.
Natural Selection really is a bitch. In nature the "unfit" are eaten, in human society the "unfit" end homeless or kill themselves, I suppose.
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Hello,
Suiciding or dying is not actually the solution for anything, i want you to fight - and once you start fighting you will achieve - don't give up.
I have a nice song if you would like to hear it; Anna Bergendahl - The Army
In this paragraph you've said two very positive things - well done, lets hang onto these.
All of us need to start somewhere, think of it positively - you gained some experience in these jobs.
Don't give up with your dreams - continue trying and something will succeed - trying in life is the most important thing. It doesn't matter if your social circle is small or large, the important thing is the quality - i may have 100 people in my social circle but if i can't hang out with them then whats the point in having them in my social circle?
You're certainly not a failure, you've double-majored in college, you have more knowledge than 95% people in your business, you have a social circle, you have dreams - dreams are very important and i want you to hold onto them - dreams come with no time limitations - i might be 70 years old until i achieve a dream - what matters is that you try and aim for that dream.
Change is always positive, change always help however it needs time - it needs patience, it needs trying, it needs dedication.
Some changes might end up to being negative, BUT there will be changes that will end up being positive - i want to keep trying both on your professional and social section of your life.
I want you to keep this in your mind, you have the strength to achieve what you desire. Negatives will always enter our lifes BUT we can work on them and turn them into positives.
Things sometimes will go wrong, you are farely young still so you have plenty of time ahead of you. All of us will pass through our difficult moments, we will pass through moments where we want to quit, but we need to believe in ourselves, believe in our dreams and always aim towards our dream and work towards this.
The same way our life includes negatives it will also include positives.
Hold on!
Suiciding or dying is not actually the solution for anything, i want you to fight - and once you start fighting you will achieve - don't give up.
I have a nice song if you would like to hear it; Anna Bergendahl - The Army
In this paragraph you've said two very positive things - well done, lets hang onto these.
All of us need to start somewhere, think of it positively - you gained some experience in these jobs.
Don't give up with your dreams - continue trying and something will succeed - trying in life is the most important thing. It doesn't matter if your social circle is small or large, the important thing is the quality - i may have 100 people in my social circle but if i can't hang out with them then whats the point in having them in my social circle?
You're certainly not a failure, you've double-majored in college, you have more knowledge than 95% people in your business, you have a social circle, you have dreams - dreams are very important and i want you to hold onto them - dreams come with no time limitations - i might be 70 years old until i achieve a dream - what matters is that you try and aim for that dream.
Change is always positive, change always help however it needs time - it needs patience, it needs trying, it needs dedication.
Some changes might end up to being negative, BUT there will be changes that will end up being positive - i want to keep trying both on your professional and social section of your life.
I want you to keep this in your mind, you have the strength to achieve what you desire. Negatives will always enter our lifes BUT we can work on them and turn them into positives.
Things sometimes will go wrong, you are farely young still so you have plenty of time ahead of you. All of us will pass through our difficult moments, we will pass through moments where we want to quit, but we need to believe in ourselves, believe in our dreams and always aim towards our dream and work towards this.
The same way our life includes negatives it will also include positives.
Hold on!
Thank you for your kind words. I'm still trying my best to change things despite being somewhat close to the "final solution", I just don't have the enegy to hold on until I'm 70.
In fact, 32 or 33 would probably be my limit without some degree of success and advancement. I'm not talking about "sky-high" success, but something reasonable considering my efforts.
Regardless, having the whole thing (method, letter, knowledge about cremation, etc) prepared and arranged in my head gives me a great degree of comfort.
If things get even worse, I'll have everything ready. I'm planning even how my body will be arranged so that a possible chock is lessened. Hopefully it will just involve taking it to the crematory and disposing it.
<mod edit: *sparkle*: methods, asking for advice on death>
In fact, 32 or 33 would probably be my limit without some degree of success and advancement. I'm not talking about "sky-high" success, but something reasonable considering my efforts.
Regardless, having the whole thing (method, letter, knowledge about cremation, etc) prepared and arranged in my head gives me a great degree of comfort.
If things get even worse, I'll have everything ready. I'm planning even how my body will be arranged so that a possible chock is lessened. Hopefully it will just involve taking it to the crematory and disposing it.
<mod edit: *sparkle*: methods, asking for advice on death>
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Re: Organ Donation
i think that as this is related to your suicidal feelings any advice anyone could give you on this would be helping you to plan your death accordingly.... as this is a pro life site i am closing the thread on organ donations.... please, if you need to talk about your feelings and why you feel this way, do talk and get some support
i think that as this is related to your suicidal feelings any advice anyone could give you on this would be helping you to plan your death accordingly.... as this is a pro life site i am closing the thread on organ donations.... please, if you need to talk about your feelings and why you feel this way, do talk and get some support
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