maybe its time for me to go, try as hard as i can things don't get any better and i find myself just drifting further away from life and the need to carry on with it. the stress and pressure of keeping myself above water and appearing to be ok is overwhelming and tiring. i have thought about the pros and cons and the only thing to stay around is that i don't want to hurt my family but that reason is getting dimmer every day. i know deep down that once i am on my own i will just fall apart totally, i know that with everything that my life will be like i will struggle to make ends meet, i can't go down that road again, i have spent too much of my life struggling then for the last 6 years i had found happiness, but now that has been torn away from me. i wonder whats the point, i don't want to live like this and let people see me like that. i feel dead inside, empty. i have everything prepared, all loose ends taken care of, it seems i am on borrowed time.