Pressing charges.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by jessikah2k8, Sep 25, 2008.

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  1. jessikah2k8

    jessikah2k8 Well-Known Member

    I recently miscarried a 19 year old's child. (I am 15).

    Despite it was statutory rape, he promised me that I couldn't get pregnant withdrawing. I believed him because he was the adult. He dumped me as soon as he discovered I could be pregnant. I realised he has lost a baby in the past, when he was 16, and she was also 15, to abortion.

    He was jealous and very bullying the whole way through the relationship, even cheating on me with two hookers. He even raped me the first time we had sex, I pushed him off and he pinned my arms back so I couldn't move. It scared me. Sex became a chore. Like it had to be done.

    This has already been reported to social services and police.. but I'm just wondering, what could be the outcome of this situation? I want to press charges, but I just want to know if he will actually get a punishment.. the age of consent here is 17 by the way. I was 14, he was 18 when we started having sex.
  2. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Yes, he can be punished for rape and statutory rape unless theres some law I am not aware of.
    Its up to you to press charges and carry on a strong front against him though.l

    But Im curious, what country do you live in to have an age of consent of 17?
  3. He will but dont let him bully you into not doing anything. Imagine what he could do to other kids. Your family, the police and everyone can protect you.
  4. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Northen Ireland is part of the UK, in England it's 16.

    There are many outcomes, but each of them depends on you and how far you are prepaired to take it. He could be prosecuted for rape and child molestation due to your age and country's age of consent. The process will be very long and drawn out, the police and social services will be asking you a lot of very personal questions and you must answer them with the true events. You will need to be really strong to go through with this, because once it gets to court you may have to give evidence against him also. I'm not sure how different the law there is to here.

    Please go through with this though, if he did it to you then he may well have raped before, and if he has the police may be able to track down his previous victims too.
  5. jessikah2k8

    jessikah2k8 Well-Known Member

    Yes, I am prepared to go through with it, because the fact he has 2 dead children at 19, is unbelievable. They were both mistakes. I thought maybe he had learnt from the last one.

    He is vile. His house is absolutely STINKING. They let their little niece run around in a house with grime up the walls, dog dirt on the floor, dog food bowls overflowing.. it's really disgusting. Even when they washed dishes, they were only washed in water - no washing up liquid. Even if I did have a child, I wouldn't be letting it go anywhere near there and I made the decision with the social workers at the hospital (when I found out I was pregnant) that he wouldn't be included in the baby's life, as I didn't want him, or his money.

    I know it is a very long process. I'll answer any questions I want them to.. I just want justice for myself.

    I was afraid of reporting it then he just gets away with a caution or something..
  6. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I doubt it. If your having his baby then that is proof you were underage. DNA can be taken to prove this. You must remember that the baby is you, not him. You will be able to raise that child a better person and a good one, like you are.

    I'm so glad your a brave and strong enough person to take this stand here. I really wish you and the child a good future without him in it.
  7. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Good for you on reporting him, I think he will only get worse in his behaviour unless it is monitored and no-one should get away with using and abusing you like that. :mad:
  8. jessikah2k8

    jessikah2k8 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.. and no, I miscarried the baby after he got a new girlfriend. The break up was hard but it was harder with a baby, and I was so stressed out, I stopped eating as I just threw it all back up, and 2 weeks later I miscarried and lost over half a stone. I was in tears, my mum told me not to ring him but I did as he had a right to know. He just said, "Oh so that's that then" as if he didn't give a damn in the world. I was only 4-5 weeks on but even so.. I still bonded with that child and nearer the end it gave me a bit of motivation for the future. Manys a time I'm breaking down.. anywhere. Down the street, in a shop.. I'm constantly looking at every girl I walk past wondering if it's his new girlfriend. Anytime I see a boy in combats, I think it's my ex coming down the street and my heart pounds as I think he's coming to get me. My mum begged me not to do anything stupid as she lost my dad when I was 6. That was the only thing keeping me back from ending it at one point. At one stage, I even took an overdose. I told my ex this also, and he just said "don't let your mum find out" but I was so ill, obviously she did.

    My mum keeps saying to me not to get my hopes up too high and that seeing as it's his first reported offence and most of the sex was statutory, they will probably give him a warning. However, I am adament I am going to fight my corner with all I have and hopefully, maybe just get him prosecuted.
  9. alwaysscared

    alwaysscared Active Member

    I know it may not seem much, but I'm sooo proud of you Jessikah. You are so brave to have the courage of your convictions to go through with this. Admire ur strength and have enormous respect for you.

  10. jessikah2k8

    jessikah2k8 Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I actually found it so hard to turn rounf and say, "Yeah I do want to press charges." I spent day after day, crying and crying, ringing him telling him I wouldn't let him get into trouble because he was "scared".

    I'm sick of looking out for other people, which my mum said I was doing - it's about my own happiness, my own justice and my own well being as well as helping his other girls and possibly previous girlfriends. He is just a vile, horrible man who even paid for sex from two hookers when he was with me.. he was a bully towards me and even if he does only get put on the Sex Offenders Register.. it's better than nothing, right?
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