pretending in relationships

petrapige

Well-Known Member
#1
Is it even possible to have an actual relationship where you don't pretend to be a little better than you are? Is it just some hollywood fantasy that it is possible to let someone see ALL sides of you including the really bad ones that are not at all attractive, or should you keep them slightly hidden and maybe only open up 90% and not 100.
I know people always say that the right person will love your flaws, but I am super serious about this question, is there a point where being too open and leaving it all out there is too much? Would it be better to just conceal some of your shortcomings a little bit throughout the entire relationship even if it lasts forever and pretend to be a slightly better person than you really are
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#2
Is it even possible to have an actual relationship where you don't pretend to be a little better than you are? Is it just some hollywood fantasy that it is possible to let someone see ALL sides of you including the really bad ones that are not at all attractive, or should you keep them slightly hidden and maybe only open up 90% and not 100.
I know people always say that the right person will love your flaws, but I am super serious about this question, is there a point where being too open and leaving it all out there is too much? Would it be better to just conceal some of your shortcomings a little bit throughout the entire relationship even if it lasts forever and pretend to be a slightly better person than you really are
Good question. Honestly, I have no idea. I don't think too many couples are 100% honest about their shortcomings, though. I know my husband and I aren't. It would be nice to feel that comfortable with someone, but I have no idea if such a thing is possible. People lie.
 
#3
Is it even possible to have an actual relationship where you don't pretend to be a little better than you are? Is it just some hollywood fantasy that it is possible to let someone see ALL sides of you including the really bad ones that are not at all attractive, or should you keep them slightly hidden and maybe only open up 90% and not 100.
I know people always say that the right person will love your flaws, but I am super serious about this question, is there a point where being too open and leaving it all out there is too much? Would it be better to just conceal some of your shortcomings a little bit throughout the entire relationship even if it lasts forever and pretend to be a slightly better person than you really are
In a relationship the person you are with should make you want to be better than you are but, you should also be very open about everything-- what people think should happen
personally there are parts of my life I can tell no one about. im not a very open person about my emotions. at times i put up a front about how I feel and why I do things. I never let anyone completely know me for who I am, maybe its fear maybe its because I don't like being to close to anyone. for example if your dating someone and you tell them your going to hang with you brother or friends for the night and tell her you started drinking and having fun and you cant drive you will be back tomorrow. well not all of it is untrue. you were sitting in your truck somewhere because you were to depressed and drinking and you didn't want her to worry about you. you didn't want her to go through that. although it is a lie I would think if you cared about someone and they didn't understand what you were going through its as if you are trying to protect them from your bad side not wanting them to worry or hurt. but maybe im selfish. sometimes what we need isn't what other people can give or do its us needing to be somewhere quiet to let out emotions alone. I believe that people try their best to help you but they don't fully get what you feel and it ends up making it worse when they try to help. ive never been 100% maybe im weak or scared but that's what I think.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#4
I'm not sure this is necessarily a matter of lying or being dishonest. I'll be interested to see the other replies.
I think that you are your own person & there's no need or want to share every single iota of yourself with someone else. Whats the point? Its not hiding important things, but why share every dang thought that rolls through your head?
You should be with someone you could share your life with & that you would be willing to tell all those things to if they wanted to know something, I suppose (meaning: there aren't trust issues) but I don't think it's possible to give 100% of yourself to someone nor do I think it's a great idea in a general sense.
Let's see what the next person says. Good thread.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top