Probably my best friend...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Toki Wartooth Lover, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. Toki Wartooth Lover

    Toki Wartooth Lover Well-Known Member

    Kyle McCloud... I know that you are somewhere, reading this...
    I'm sorry if I did anything wrong..
    I loved you, so ever much...
    I didn't mean to scream at you..
    I wish that I was a better person...
    Good bye..

    A good friend of mine, Kyle, he was going to join SF, but he didn't think that it was going to help him. He killed himself instead.. I have no idea how to even write this.. I'm just.. wow.. I can't believe that this happened.. again.. I tried to talk him out of it.. but for some reason I can't stop thinking that I caused him to do this.. He killed himself because of me... I can't stop thinking that..
     
  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    audrey we both know that isn't true.

    if there is anything i can do please let me know.

    be safe <33
     
  3. Toki Wartooth Lover

    Toki Wartooth Lover Well-Known Member

    I just can't help but think that.. I kept yelling at him for a pathetic reason and as son as I knew it, he was gone..
     
  4. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    The issue is not did you or did you not cause it but you did all you could that he would not do it. Hang in there! :hug:
     
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun you didnt cause it. He caused it. He couldnt find any other way. You tried to help he just wasnt in a place that he could take the help. I'm sorry for your loss.
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Please do not blame yourself. You reached out to help as best as you could and your friend was not able to see beyond his pain and accept that there may be something that could help besides suicide. The choice was his and no one else's. There are sometimes that, despite your greatest efforts, you will not be able to make the difference you hope to. We have freedom of choice. I wish, you wish your friend has chosen differently, but it wasn't to be. In no way are you at fault. "If onlys" won't change things. His choice. Remember-his choice. :hug:
     
  7. Toki Wartooth Lover

    Toki Wartooth Lover Well-Known Member

    Thank you.. I just can't seem to help it though, I kept yelling at him.. and before I knew it, he was gone :hug:

    Thank you for your kind words. I did try to help, I really did, but I just didn't know that he was gunna do this, if I did, I would have tryed harder

    Thank you.. I will most certainly try.. :hug: