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probably the stupidest thing i've ever done..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lexiundead, Aug 11, 2010.

  1. lexiundead

    lexiundead Member

    sooo my dads girlfriend is super young, like young enough to be my sister, and she's pretty much an older version of me. she's the only person that understands me and gets what i'm going through and all the messed up shit that's running through my head. she understands why i do what i do, and wants to help me. yesterday, i told her that i have reasons to stop doing what i do and reasons to keep going. i told her one of my reasons to keep going was that i have feelings for a bad person. like a person that i shouldn't have feelings for because it's just plain wrong. after many questions and guesses, she finally gave up and told me to tell her who it was. i looked up at her, and on the verge of tears, i choked out, "you". she just stared at me for about a minute then said, "uh, uh, uh. okay. umm. okay." it took everything i had not to break down in front of her. she hasn't talked to me since. she won't even let me explain. i really regret giving her my tools because now it's too late to use them, no matter how bad i want to because i have no idea what she did with them. i was literally up until four am talking to myself and saying everything i was going to say to her.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you have it out of you now IT is up to her now to help you realize where she stands She ask and you gave her an honest answer not it is up to her to deal with the answer appropriately Time to move forward now okay let it go
  3. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    You're right it was a stupid thing, not because it was a 'bad' thing for you to do - but by telling her your feelings, you have lost all power and she now doesn't see you as a man she would like to sleep with. For future reference, never, ever tell a woman that you have feelings for her. Only do it if you want to guarantee that she will never have sexual feelings for you. Have a read of this:

    If you listen to women talk about men, you'll
    often hear them use the word "ANNOYING" to
    describe certain men and certain things that some
    men DO.
    Now, as you can probably guess, it's not
    usually a good thing when a woman uses this
    particular word to describe a guy...
    And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when a
    woman uses this particular word, it's not usually
    about guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although this
    isn't always true).
    Now, it's taken me a few years of paying
    attention to really get a handle on what women are
    talking about when they say, "He's annoying" or
    "It's so annoying when he does that".
    And guess what I realized was at the ROOT of
    women finding a guy or his behavior annoying?
    Here are some of the things that many women
    consider to be "annoying":
    - Calling her too often
    - Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too
    - Giving away your power to her and making her the
    - Always asking a woman what she wants instead of
    - Acting submissive and weak
    - Accepting her demands, bossy-ness, and
    manipulative requests
    - Being her doormat and putting your own needs
    "WHAT?" you say.
    "HOW COULD THIS BE?"... you might be thinking.
    How is it possible that demonstrating your
    affection for a woman by calling her, telling her
    how you feel, letting her make the decisions, and
    putting her first could be considered ANNOYING, of
    all things?
    Well guess what?
    IT IS.
    Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and
    desirable women, usually consider the above things
    to be VERY annoying.
    Of course, the reason for this is because no
    matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem on
    the surface, there's only one conclusion that can
    be drawn from them:
    Now, do I really, really, REALLY mean that
    women are NEVER, EVER attracted to Wussies?
    I mean, isn't that an over- generalization?
    Nothing is always true, right?
    Well, this one IS.
    Actually, what I MEAN is...
    As far as generalizations go, this particular
    one is as close to being true all the time as they
    And just in case I haven't said this enough,
    let me say it one more time... just to make sure
    it's clear:
    So now you understand why all of the "nice"
    things that you've done for women seem to always
    result in the woman pulling away.
    It's because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss"
    behaviors to be ANNOYING.
    To further confuse things, you'll often hear a
    woman say something to the effect of...
    "I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE..."
    "He needs to have his own life, his own
    interests, and his own friends, but also be
    totally focused on me..."
    I see things like this in women's personal ads
    all the time. I'm sure you've seen things like
    this yourself.
    Women often talk about wanting a combination of
    things in a man that just don't seem to fit...
    So what's going on here?
    Are women crazy? (Yes.)
    But seriously, what are they talking about?
    How is it that women seem to always talk about
    wanting men who have these qualities that don't
    fit together?
    I know that I personally used to hear this
    stuff and then say to myself "OK, well I've got
    the sensitive part covered so I guess I need to
    start acting a little bit stronger."
    I thought that maybe this came down to getting
    my lazy ass to the gym and working out. You know,
    to become "stronger".
    No, I'm serious.
    Well, here's the BIG REALIZATION that I had...
    I've now realized that I had it all wrong.
    Instead of thinking to myself that I was a
    nice, sensitive guy that needed to become a little
    stronger, what I really needed was to become a
    strong guy who could also act sensitive on
    The difference seems almost like word-play, but
    it's not. Not at all.
    You see, when a woman says that she wants a
    "strong guy who's also sensitive", that's what she
    She wants a guy who's STRONG. The sensitive
    part is far more "optional" than the STRONG part.
    This is why women often date jerks and guys who
    are emotionally unavailable, and don't date us
    "nice guys" who would do anything for them.
    Women do not sit down and make a list of the
    qualities that a particular guy has, then think it
    over it for a few days, then DECIDE whether or not
    NO WAY.
    It happens in an INSTANT, and it happens for
    all kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons that
    even the woman who is feeling it can't usually

    Look up David DeAngelo and start reading his articles if you want to have sex. Don't make the same mistake again.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    <Mod Edit: Abacus21 - superfluous info>

    I'm sorry Lexi that your dad's girlfriend reacted the way that she did, but she seems like a straight woman who isn't open to having an intimate relationship with a man and his daughter simultaneously. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2010