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Problems... Too many!

#1
First Nightmare I had was about prison. I had a dream where I got jumped by 8 people. I happened to have a cell phone smuggled in and I called 911. The operator in my nightmare said we can’t help you since I’m in prison.

This is one issue I’m having trouble getting help with whenever I am abused by nurses and/or ems…

The other nightmare I had was I was raped in prison. This nightmare… My rapist was in it…
It started with people that were going up in the air and disappearing, and no its not UFOS either. It’s something else completely different. I got scared and decided to go to my grandpa/grandma house but they weren't there so I decided to hide in the basement. But instead when I opened their basement I found my rapist already hiding there so I took him out with his girlfriend watching… I killed him in my nightmare and I woke shortly after.

It mainly has to do with me being raped in prison. A lot of my ptsd stems from prison and because I am constantly being physically abused from my dad, the ems, and nurses.
I don’t know how to handle the nightmares and it has gotten to me very very badly when I Wake up such as panic attacks, crying, and having difficulty breathing.

One was I woke up from the dead in my bosses shop bathroom from the tub. There was a greenish blue haze all over so I decided to walk from the bathroom to the bedroom section and found my boss and his girlfriend hanging out on the bed. So we decided to smoke some weed and hang out relaxing… But I Decided to look out the big glass window and see the grim reaper with a pair of kitchen knives coming toward the shop. So I ran to the front door and locked it. The grim reaper disappeared at sunrise.

Its probably cause I survived 19 suicide attempts but cheated death that I have this nightmare. I don’t have a great idea why I met dead people and was alive but saw the grim reaper. Where am I exactly in life? I have no clue.

One dream was I was journeying from Ukraine to Russia with no clothes on. I came across these guards that had fur coats on so I asked them how to get shelter (I was referring to their coats). They stated I had to be grandfathered in. So I kept walking with no clothes shortly after I woke up and I don’t know if I made it to Russia with no clothes or if I died. I don’t know

But I am tired of the way people act and this nightmare included is a very huge trigger for me.

These nightmares create memory loss I am having. With anything recent memory but no memory loss from the past.

Like I’ve mentioned before I am tired of being stuck in the same position over and over and when this happens I feel suicidal because being stuck in the same position again is depressing and when I Feel suicidal everything is on PAUSE!

I’m tired of feeling this way. I don’t know what to do with the nightmares or suicidal thoughts. I just want to shut down completely mentally. Not talk to people anymore… keep away from people… be in my own peace just laying there depressed knowing I can’t do anything about anything except just pause completely. Everything is a blur and I’m tired of this. I want to do better, I want to try better but how? With people taking things away from you with the way people act. I’m so tired of it. I just want it to end but there's no way to end it. I have cheated death so many times even I’m tired of putting myself back in the same position which is why I am getting tired of suicide attempts so I give up. I’m just depressed. How can I deal with people? What can I do better that’d make them stop wanting to take things in my life away from me. OR better yet what can I do to prevent it? These nightmares definitely match up to my problems and I’m tired of it.
 

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
#2
i become a horrible person in my dreams. I would like to think that dreams don't comment on who you are in real life. I used to beat myself up all the time for the person I was in my dreams. Dreams are so complex. I don't understand them and can't help you. Maybe you should talk to a professional about it
 

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