problems with a family member

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by angelheart, Oct 7, 2012.

  1. angelheart

    angelheart Active Member

    ok so, I love my grandma and I know she loves me but when she gets hungry or hyper she gets really rude. sometimes she doesn't realize it but today she went over the top.
    I am pregnant and no longer with the father ( he wasn't supportive of me keeping the baby) but I talk to his mom all the time. she is very supportive. my gma doesn't like her, and I can to some extent understand that but every time she comes up in conversation my gma says something negative.
    she has said that Kelly will try to take the baby and things like that. every time she does this I say something and usually she apologizes but she makes comments about anyone she doesn't like.
    tonight she saw a pic of Kelly and I at my baby shower and made a comment about her weight ( she is a little overweight) I immediately pointed out that it was rude but she just brushed me off. a minute later my mom told her she needed to apologize and she said "what?" then changed the subject.
    I've called her out on her behavior so many times but she seems to be getting worse. it's embarrassing and I almost don't want to be around her, especially if she won't even acknowledge the fact that she was rude.
    does anyone else know someone with this problem? what should I do?
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    mmmmmmm - it's a difficult one. You could try asking her gently "why do other people upset you so much grandma?" Just in the course of conversation, just naturally, not wanting to drive it home. "A soft answer turneth away wrath" etc....
    It might cause her to think about your observation..... And if she takes it as a criticism, you could just say "No grandma, not a criticism, just an observation".......... just a little nudge might cause her to think twice, maybe :)
  3. angelheart

    angelheart Active Member

    thanks, I'll have to try it
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just make sure grandma knows you love her and that she will always be important to you hun maybe she is a little insecure about your relationship with the other grandma to be hugs to you
  5. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Something about old dogs and new tricks comes to mind.

    Nothing can be done, you will forced to increase your tolerance levels for her stupidity, accept her stupidity as part of how she is, or be around her much less often without losing love for her. That's just how we have to accept older people sometimes, though hesitantly.
  6. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    You could try having a gentle talk about things with regards to how you feel about kelly, and how important it is to have your gram and her in your life. Idk, have to ask her why she feels so worried about it. Sometimes you can't break old habits, but alot of those habits are fuel by a feeling. Maybe there's a way to make you gram feel more comfortable about kelly so the next time she's brought up, your grams has something else to draw from that's stronger.