If that makes sense. I have problems with things in the moment. Like.. anything now to be honest. Im running off of hope and dreams if that makes sense. At work, i can't handle thinking about my low life job as im doing it, I have to put my music on and literally go inward and expand to breath. {I hope that makes sense}
Like, even feeling things, i feel numb to them, but if i think about them before hand or afterwards, I have more perspective and feelings to them. :S it makes me want to break down, and I feel like im floating from scene to scene. But I still feel the negative impacts from the moment, it's like shockwaves to who i am. Maybe i dont connect with the moment because of fear of the reality of my life. I dont particularly look at my life as how i want my life to be. Can't handle the contrast of who and what I am to what and how I am living.
Does anyone know what I mean by not being able to connect with what your doing in the moment? Its confusing and a bit clostrophobic at times. I sit still or try to find the desire to do something in the moment and I hit walls. Im trying to understand, im just only really starting to see it.
Like, even feeling things, i feel numb to them, but if i think about them before hand or afterwards, I have more perspective and feelings to them. :S it makes me want to break down, and I feel like im floating from scene to scene. But I still feel the negative impacts from the moment, it's like shockwaves to who i am. Maybe i dont connect with the moment because of fear of the reality of my life. I dont particularly look at my life as how i want my life to be. Can't handle the contrast of who and what I am to what and how I am living.
Does anyone know what I mean by not being able to connect with what your doing in the moment? Its confusing and a bit clostrophobic at times. I sit still or try to find the desire to do something in the moment and I hit walls. Im trying to understand, im just only really starting to see it.