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alright..well..uhm..this is my first time doing this..but..yea. my name is kimberly, im 14, and im having problems with my depression. ive tried 2 medications already..but they didnt work. one of em made everything worse, and the second one just plain didnt make me feel anything different. i dont think any of the medications are going to work for me..everything is just..getting worse. i just started 9th grade about 2 weeks ago, and with that came drama. about a year ago i lost my best friend. she just decided to let me go..tell me that were not best friends anymore. that hurt like a mother. i hadnt been that close to anyone in my whole life. she knew EVERYTHING. and i loved her more than anything. my friends, especially my best friend means the world to me. i figure, guys come and go..and so do friends..so if i get so close to just a couple friends..they'll become like my sisters..family..which is ALWAYS there. but yea..i lost her..and it killed me. inside. i swear. it hurt so bad. and then just 2 weeks ago..i lost another best friend. her name was cori. she picked me up when i was so upset about Kellie..my old best friend. me and her got really close..like me and kellie were. but cori was always showing me that she loved me. unlike kellie. it was unreal. i thought she was guna be my best friend that was guna last forever..but i guess not. she started going out w/ this guy. and i just..had a bad feeling about it. but she started hanging out with him all the time and blowing me off. when i talked to her about it she thought i was completely stupid. so yea..it didnt work..and we drifted apart. i just dont know what to do anymore. along with that..i dont go to my dads house anymore..my step mom is so controling. i havent been to his house since the day before my birthday last year..so its almost been a year. i miss him. i just wish he didnt go along with EVERYTHING my step mom says. shes such a bitch. just to me and my real brother. not to her kids. i dont understand her. i hate her. but tonight..i just dont know what to do..kellie just told me that im one of her best friends again like...a week ago. and yet, shes not even talking to me anymore. i comment her on myspace all the time and she doesnt bother to talk back. she talks to other ppl, ignores me. im worthless. i dont even matter. the only thing thats keeping me from killing myself is...."you go to Hell if you comit suicide." im not exactly sure if its true or not.....


Staff Alumni
welcome to the forum Kimberly :smile: :hug: im glad you decided to join :smile:

please dont give up on finding the right meds for you, it can take time and there are lots of different kinds of antidepressants out there, ive been on at least 10 and havnt found any helpful but im still trying, they can really do a lot to make things easier if you give them a chance :smile:

of course meds arnt the only way to go, have you thought about counselling or therapy? i realise youre young but could your parents sort something out for you or do you have a counsellor at your school? it can be helpful to talk to someone about your problems

im sorry your friends have treated you how they have, they sure dont seem like very good friends to me, perhaps you should try to be more careful about who you get close to in future, i know it can be hard tho, ive had more than my fair share of "best friends" over the years

i hope you feel better soon :hug:
feel free to PM me anytime :smile:
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