probly not supposed to be in this listing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whytryanymore, Jul 23, 2010.

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  1. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    ok so for the last two weeks i have been helping my dad and a friend haul and compact 200+ yards of dirt to get a barn and a shop ready for concrete. crappy work but ive loved the fact that i m helping and contributing, today my dad who has stage 4 colon cancer over worked himself i told him he shouldnt work tomorrow but he sais he will be. ive gone straight to the boss and told him i dont care what he sais he will not work tomorro no matter how much we need his help, i can run the bobcat to haul the dirt into the spot it needs to be hauled into and do the rest by hand if need be. i dont care if it kills me my dad is more important to the family, he holds us together. i feel great cuz i am finally doing something possitive, even though i am getting in over my head i will do this its my chance to shine i must do it. i feel great about myself for the first time since i can remember and i would do anything to keep this feeling but i dont know what will happen if i fail, most likely suicidal thoughts again.
    Love you all thanks soo much for helping me all who have helped or commented on my post or anyones that i have read you are the reason i am still here today and i thank you :irony:
  2. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Glad you feel better. Praying for you!!!!
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Glad to hear that you are feeling better and contributing on the job site. I hope that things work out well for you. :hug:
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