PROCRASTINATION: PLEASE HELP ME I Hate Studying--How Do I Improve My Endurance Level?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Fire-7, Apr 2, 2011.

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  1. Fire-7

    Fire-7 Member

    I have had acedemic problems since I was in the fourth grade (I'm 28 now). It started with math--my arch enemy. From then on, my grade point average dwindled on a downward spiral, to the point that I was forced (literally by my guidance counselors) to drop out of highschool as a second year senior (/sophomore/junior/freshman), with a 0.something GPA. I had gotten so far behind, even though I took summerschool and was attending the comm college along with highschool, that I had to go to the college full time. It was a little less stressful then, with extra instructors/tutors to go around.

    I was so ashamed at the basic things I didn't know that some questions I didn't ask because I was afraid of the students and instructors' reactions. So I did stay after class a few times for one on one time. Because of distractions and other factors like transportation, etc..., my focus would fluctuate. But even then, I felt smarter than I did in regular school. Throughout elementray, middle, and highschool, I used to secretly wish I could wear glasses (even though I had no sight problems) so that I could feel like one of the smart kids (I remember sneaking someone's glasses from home a couple of times). I know this is superfical now, but then, I thought all smart people wore glasses. However, that didn't help me. I always felt like THE dumbest person alive--not just at the school.

    I eventually dropped out of school all together and in 2001, started taking GED classes. I would get on a role for fleeting moments at a time, but I just couldn't stay focussed long enough to accomplish much. I evenutally dropped out of GED classes and gone back bout 5 or 6 different times over the years. I still don't have my GED but I plan on trying at it again in May. Because of my current acedemic plan, I cannot afford to fail this time. If I do, it will set me back prettty far. I won't go into all of it here. But I am finally taking college prep classes now. Because I recieved financial aid before--the first time I took college classes which was last summer, and dropped both classes and had to pay the money back before I could attend that school again, I am on academic probation. Meaning that if I fail either of the classes I'm taking now (English and Algebra ), I may not be eligible to recieve financial aid ever again (they are much stricter now)...and I won't even go through how much this will ruin my short and longterm plans. I finally have a plan now, but if I mess up, I'm going to really mess up!

    I can't explain to you how tormenting this is. I know that I struggle tremendously with low self esteem loneliness (/anxiety), which I come to find out is one of the reasons for my procrastination pattern. But it's not something I can get over overnight. I know I don't have time for therpy to deal with all of my issues. As much as I want to stop and take a breather to deal with deeply rooted mental obstacles, life itself doesn't stop, and time waits for no man. I'm trying to break that infamous pattern of starting and stopping. I'm just going to have to stick it out, but I'm sooo scared right now! I already have an F in my algebra class and there's only 3 weeks until final exams. I've been meaning (as always) to do my homework, but I have yet to tun in or finish one homework assignment in the algebra class. Even though I've been on spring break for a week, I still have yet to finish (I started) one assignment, even though I swore to myself that I would make up all the work I missed over spring break. Now, school will be starting monday, and believe it or not--I'm not being funny, I am terrified that I will just fall into the same rhetorical pattern. I feel guilty and am hating myself for my lack of discipline. I know, "JUST DO IT!". It shoul be that easy. And I have told myself that hundreds (if not thousands) of times--"Just do it; NOW!!!), but I never end up doing it.

    I'm venting right now, but I am so frustrated!

    Would you have any advice for improving my level of diligence and commitment?
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Re: PROCRASTINATION: PLEASE HELP ME I Hate Studying--How Do I Improve My Endurance Le

    can you afford a tutor? someone who can sit with you and help you meet those deadlines? someone who can make sure you understand what you need to in order to pass the final exam?

    if not you need to break it down into small, manageable steps. make a calendar with all important dates on it and write down in detail what you will do each day. take frequent breaks, but try and build up your endurance. 10 minutes on algebra, break, then 20 minutes, break, then 30 minutes, and so on. that's how i got through school. that way i didn't have to worry each day what i was going to tackle next, i just looked at the day's schedule and stuck to it.

    in the long run you need some professional help. you might have a learning disability, sounds quite likely actually. once diagnosed you can get extra support from your school. there are loads of programs to help.

    good luck!
  3. lost81

    lost81 Staff Alumni

    Re: PROCRASTINATION: PLEASE HELP ME I Hate Studying--How Do I Improve My Endurance Le

    There was a news article I just read today about Modafinil ( ), that is supposed to make you more alert and motivated.

    Never tried it myself but if it does what it says on the tin, I might see if I can get some.

    I'm not saying it should be relied upon solely, but if it can help give that extra boost needed to help get into a better retinue then I'm all for it.

    Has anyone tried Modafinil specifically?
  4. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    Re: PROCRASTINATION: PLEASE HELP ME I Hate Studying--How Do I Improve My Endurance Le

    like a lot of us you sound like you lack motivation and are juggling too many plates. as earlier poster said, break it all down into manageable pieces rather than trying to do everything at once, better to do well at one thing than fail at can only do what you can do and if you cant do it all, dont sweat it...pick your best and focus on that otherwise you will just overwhelm yourself with it all.
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