The counsellor thinks I am making progress. I really can't see it myself. All I can see is that I am talking about things I have not talked about before it has made me worse and I have gone from not wanting to die to it being all I think about. How is that progress. I really like her. She has said she thinks possibly I am being too harsh on myself. But if dealing with my issues makes me feel like this I think I prefer boxing them off and pushing them away. I think I would prefer just to self harm and not actually want to die. I would not feel so tired and like I want to give up. Running away just seems more and more appealing every day!