So over the past two years I've all but lost the ability to enjoy positive emotions, to concentrate on complex tasks and hold any goals I'd care about. The past two weeks I've been contemplating suicide and have decided to go through with it. Wanted to do it in early May but I guess it would be best to wait until mid-June or so as it would be better for my brother to finish his finals first and in the mean time I can search for something that would convince me I can actually get better. Any ideas what that would be? I know seeing a psychologist is one thing and I'm gonna do it but given that I don't really have any money all I can hope to get in this time is maybe 2 free consultations. Background: 21 yo, male, engineering student, depressed with ups and downs for most of my life, near complete loss of the ability to feel pleasure or situate myself in the world in the past two years.