Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Dharma4815162342, Feb 9, 2010.

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  1. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    So I take promises in my life very seriously. Thats why I've only made several of them in my life. I made one promise after cutting myself last year that I wouldnt' buy any more razors. I didnt. I just made a promise today that I wont ever harm myself. I made it to a real friend and someone who honestly cares about me. Its weird the change making tha promise has had over me.

    The last few days have been hard, I've wanted to die more than ever before. But making that promise... it was like I no longer had a choice about weither or not I was going to live. I just had to. I'm not living for me, I'm living for him. For my friend. Thats a turning point... thats a change... I thought committing suicide would be a way to control my life. But there are other ways to have control. Its weird...
  2. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    So I guess promises only hold true if the person I made them to actually cares. If I make a promise to someone and they don't care weither or not I break that promise then in my mind the promise is null. So I broke it. I cut myself and damn did it feel good!!!! I hadn't done it since like last August and I just really miss it. The cuts look so beautiful along my arm, I just love it.
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    To me you broke the promise that needed to be honored regardless it the other person cares or gave your word...well it seems that is all moot given what you have done to yourself. I sure hope you get some help for your wounded arm and your wounded heart, you seem very sad.

    Take care and we are here for you, stay safe, Bambi
  4. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    I don't think it matters anymore weither I'm sad or not.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It matters to us and i think the promise should have been made for yourself not for him You keep you safe because you do matter and you are important. We care if you are sad or not okay I hope you feel better soon
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I feel that if you made the promise, you were into it enough to say 'ok, I have no conditions for this oath I am about to make.'

    Hurting yourself nullified any belief he has for you, and it may hurt him more than it does you.

    Bandage yourself up, and go let him know what you did, and seek his help to prevent it in the future.
  7. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    He doesnt give a shit about me. I told him and he didnt even remember that I made the promise to him. why the fuck should I care? I wish I had a god damn gun so I could be dead right now.
  8. Bonifide C

    Bonifide C Member

    I just hope everything get better for you soon. Please don't do anything you will regret.
  9. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    If I'm dead how can I regret it?
  10. masive

    masive Banned Member

    1st off:: People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a "feeling" babe. You have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

    2nd:: Dieing is permantant and depression, sadness is a problem that is temportay.

    3rdly:: It matters to us that your not sad and that your alive. With the living.

    You can't make new friends if your dead!! So stay alive with us.

    Keep ur chin up x x
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