Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Mama_Pills, Feb 21, 2010.

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  1. Mama_Pills

    Mama_Pills Well-Known Member

    I hate making promises to people that I won't do it; it seems pointless and stupid because I know that I'm going to do it anyway, but if I don't 'promise' then they get angry with me. So I do it but I don't tell them that I have, and when they ask if I've done anything bad I just tell them no, even though I hate lying to people. I want to tell them that I've been doing it anyway, but I know that they'll just be angry with me. How can I tell them that I don't like trying to keep a promise I know I can't?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Tell them that all you can do is your best and that you do not want to discuss this part of your life with anyone. You will do your best and that is all you can do and if you slip up then that is your business not theirs You appreciate their support but that is it . They are not in a position to judge you or be mad at you as they don't understand.
  3. iceblink

    iceblink Member

    I hate making promises too. If the person who is asking is someone who I probably will never take my clothes off around I just promise to get them to leave me alone, if I not I just refuse. It's not rude, forcing people to make promises they don't intend to keep is rude.
  4. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    I a gree with iceblink. the only people i make that promise for is the ones who i just want to leave me alone. people im close to like me ma, will be sad but not angry. are you sure these people you talk about wont just be sad, not angry? there is a difference. i am lucky to have a couple of understanding people around me who i can confide in and i hope you do too. I am always on this damn forum though if you ever wanna talk. :hug:
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I don't make promises like to never do something, I have found that promises like 'I promise to try my hardest to....' etc, work the best because if you try your hardest not to, then you have kept your promise, the end result, in that promise, is actually irrelevant. I also think that whoeever is making you make these promises needs to be educated about self harm, and that you need to talk to them about why making promises is detrimental to you and why it doesn't help.
  6. Shattered Soldier

    Shattered Soldier Well-Known Member

    I've found that you can only really make a promise one day at a time. When I got off of drugs my parents always wanted reassurance that I would never go back to them again, well, never is a long time to promise. What I did was tell them that I wasn't going to use drugs today, and that I'd probably make that same promise tomorrow.
  7. Mandy1

    Mandy1 Antiquities Friend & Senior Member

    Hi,I understand fully what your saying,I myself have made promises not to sh, promises i couldnt keep,which has left me with added guilt that i have let these friends down,an extra negative feeling,which can contribute to further sh,this is a viciouse circle a circle that needs to be broken,if you understand what im saying
    My only advice is to talk to your friends and family about why you sh,i know that is hard very very hard,but its also hard for them to understand why you or anyone would hurt them self.
    I dont know you but im here and as a person with sh issues, a lot of insight, please,dont hesitate to pm me .I find others with the same issues understand more and can support each other alot better .

    Feel free to pm me anytime,i will allways reply.

    Take care and keep reaching out x
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