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Proud to be British?!?

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sadsong

Staff Alumni
#1
Here's a little laugh at the expence of us Brits out there! :D



Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage



3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.


:D
 

bunny

Staff Alumni
#2
sadsong said:
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

:D
ok, i only do this cos the regular stuff makes me sick...so i dont want to pay all the money for the food only to lose it

bunny
 

raw

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#3
Hi sadsong, that was great. I thought I would make a little fun of US folks from Indiana. Here goes:

You know you're from Indiana when...

You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud
There is actually a college near you called "Ball State"
You know that Batesville is the "casket making capital of the world" and you're damn proud of it.
You could never figure out the "spring forward-fall back" so screw daylight savings time.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
You have never met any celebrities
Down south to you means "Kentucky"
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Terra Haute
Your school was cancelled because of the cold.
Your school was cancelled because of the heat
You switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day
You know what the phrase "knee high by the fourth of July" means
You install security lights on the house and garage and leave both unlocked
You drink "pop"
High school basketball games draw a larger croud than movie theaters
Driving is better in the winter because the snow fills in the pot holes.
The local paper covers national and international news both on one page.
You say things like "kitty corner" and "catty wampus"

If you aren't from this area, they may not make sense. But they are pretty accurate.

Rick/raw
 

mike25

Well-Known Member
#7
Only in Britain can we feel far greater sympathy for a homeless dog/cat than a homeless person.

Only in Britain could the government bang on about childhood obesity while still allowing junk food to be advertised during prime time childrens television.

Only in Britain could financial big-wigs in the city make record busting profits in the millions.... while NHS nurses are asked to accept a 2.7% below inflation pay rise in 2k7.

Only in Britain would the proposal of Muslim organisations to build a super-mosque in London be given any serious creedence.

Only in Britain could you find people prepared to spend vast sums of their wages on alcohol, and intoxicate themselves to the point of pewking/passing out/being hospitalised.... they call it a good night out.

Only in Britain can you find people so sedated as to accept CCTV surveillance on an unprecedented scale in the western world.
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#9
If I were British I guess I'd be proud of it - I'm certainly not proud to be an American these days.:sad:

Oh, and Sadsong, I beg to differ with your third statement in Post # 1. You say Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburger, large fries, and a DIET coke..... that is a common practice over here as well!:rolleyes:

Actually, just once I'd like to proud to be a human being, never mind the nationality...:sad:

least
 

mike25

Well-Known Member
#10
lol Devastated

Only in Britain will you find a stiff upper lip.
Only in Britain will you find proper scones.
Only in Britain will you find the Scottish Highlands.
Only in Britain will you find Stonehenge.
Only in Britain will you find shops selling deep fried mars bars!

Britain isn't all bad! :biggrin:
 

PoetMan

Well-Known Member
#11
You know, most of this stuff is not really "only in Britain." In fact, I saw several of those on a list called "only in America." I guess both lists need work. I think all of yours apply to us in the states if you change the idioms around.


But I love Britain anyway.
 
P

ProzacDeathWish

#13
lol Devastated

Only in Britain will you find a stiff upper lip.
Only in Britain will you find proper scones.
Only in Britain will you find the Scottish Highlands.
Only in Britain will you find Stonehenge.
Only in Britain will you find shops selling deep fried mars bars!

Britain isn't all bad! :biggrin:
My parents vacationed in Britain on a number of occasions. They never stayed in the commercial hotel chains but always stayed in the quaint bed-and-breakfast establisments. They always had good things to say about the people during their trips there, plus , unlike their trips to France, Hungary, etc, there is no language barrier.

Also, about the use of CCTV, I have read that Britain ( as opposed to the
evil communist police states ) has more surveillence devices than any other nation on Earth. Wow !
 
P

ProzacDeathWish

#15
Yeah, we is spied upon :blink: :unsure: :hiding:
If the Italian facists, Russian communists, and German socialists of WW 2 were able to see how Britain and the rest of the European "democracies" have deteriorated into totalitarian police states I believe that they would simply burst into laughter at the irony.

The oppressive social policies that the allies supposedly fought to resist are now being quickly adopted by the very countries that once denounced them....and that is just weird.
 

Lucie

Well-Known Member
#17
Proud to be british?

Well I'm not to sure about that, fucking expensive to live here, overpopulated, drunks everywhere, lots of crime, jails full, this country has serious problems.

Although I would much rather be British than american. ;)
 

AloneInTheDark

Well-Known Member
#18
Yea, I can think of three problems with America that would put me off living there...

1. More deadly insect and reptiles
2. More gun crime..
3. 90% of the people that live there are Americans :biggrin:
 

mike25

Well-Known Member
#19
Quote: Lucie: Overpopulated
I agree. Despite this, there is still one acre of land for every person in Britain (so where's my one acre?). In America, there is ten acres of land for every person.

Jails full - Yep. The majority of crime is drug related. Majority of people who commit crime because of drugs come from backgrounds of poverty.

Expensive to live - Affirmative. Official statistic reads that the top 10% of the population owns half of all Britains wealth. Under Tony Blair since 1997, the wealth of the super rich has doubled. People at the bottom feel the squeeze. It's been like this for thousands of years. It's nothing new.
 
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mike25

Well-Known Member
#20
If the Italian facists, Russian communists, and German socialists of WW 2 were able to see how Britain and the rest of the European "democracies" have deteriorated into totalitarian police states I believe that they would simply burst into laughter at the irony.

The oppressive social policies that the allies supposedly fought to resist are now being quickly adopted by the very countries that once denounced them....and that is just weird.
Agreed PDW. Weird is one word. Shocking is another. All these policies in the name of 'keeping us safe'. History repeats.
 
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