provocation

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R

Robin

#2
least wrote this to Matt in the Ungrateful Bastards thread and I think it's apt here too, at least I don't know of a better way of saying it:

Ok I'm going to jump in with both feet here - hope I don't drown...

I think that those of us with serious and debilitating emotional issues sometmes react harshly and without thinking - it's the nature of the beast. However, I think that sometimes we are unconsiously trying to push people away, to make them dislike us and retreat from us. This validates our feelings of being unloved and unwanted. We conveniently skip over our little melt-downs and blow-ups and just rationalize to ourselves, "see, they really DON'T like me or care about me." I know I've done this in my life but I never realize it at the time, it's only later that I can "see the forest for the trees". I also think that a lot of us, myself especially, attack the ones we love, the ones closest to us, perhaps just because they are there, or maybe just because we believe that they love us enough to forgive us, whereas strangers might not be so kind and understanding. For me it works best if (when) I realize I've behaved like an ass, I apologize sincerely and forgive myself - which is often difficult as I'm harder on myself than anyone else could be.

William Blake said it very well: "And throughout all eternity, I forgive you, you forgive me."

Just my opinion...

least
 
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Axiom

Account Closed
#3
People feed off the reactions from others. Emotional reactions, ability to insight a responce of some nature from someone else. It gives some people a sense of ability, power, a sense that they are superior to others, and in that, are atleast better.

Sometimes people do it just so people look at them with a truthful eye, even if it is a negative eye, instead of a blurred automatic responce or useable eye.

Eitherway, in anyway, it's not a good method as people get hurt.
 

worlds edge

Well-Known Member
#4
I write a message and then it's like I try to check the reactions of people to me. It's like I want everyone to hate me. Why?
Three reasons:

(1) The nature of the beast. I think at least in part it is because we can't see each other...not that that's a bad thing most of the time, but when we're typing messages back and forth we have no way of picking up nonverbal cues, so it almost seems like it is easier to slip into an insulting mode. Its something I know I need to watch out for myself.

(2) Attention. Seriously, sometimes it can be a bit tough to get others attention around here. So if you say something on the inflammatory side, at least you'll get attention of a sort. Not positive attention probably, but at least its attention. Which sometimes beats being ignored.

(3) Boredom. Logging into SF and seeing the same sort of posts over and over, perhaps there's a little devil whispering in your ear about maybe stirring things up a bit.

My $.02, and doubtless worth every penny.
 
#5
Three reasons:

(1) The nature of the beast. I think at least in part it is because we can't see each other...not that that's a bad thing most of the time, but when we're typing messages back and forth we have no way of picking up nonverbal cues, so it almost seems like it is easier to slip into an insulting mode. Its something I know I need to watch out for myself.

(2) Attention. Seriously, sometimes it can be a bit tough to get others attention around here. So if you say something on the inflammatory side, at least you'll get attention of a sort. Not positive attention probably, but at least its attention. Which sometimes beats being ignored.

(3) Boredom. Logging into SF and seeing the same sort of posts over and over, perhaps there's a little devil whispering in your ear about maybe stirring things up a bit.



:cool: :mellow: :dry: :wink: :smile: :biggrin: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
#6
I think what least had to say is very true. We often times try to anger people and make them feel uneasy so we can justify pushing them away rather than chancing they may get even just a little bit close to us. It is much easier to go away when you think you are hated than it is when you know there are people who really do care. I cannot say this is true of you as I haven't gotten the priviledge of getting to know you. I hope you are able to find your reasons. Please take care.
 
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