psych ward....anyone?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by patodemuerte, Jan 4, 2007.

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  1. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    i dont know what to do anymore.. i was a cutter for 2 years and from teh begginning it was deep and never shallow cuts.........but i quit. and i stopped basically, except every once in a while when everything was overly unbareable....

    heres the thing.... ive found that even on special days like my birthday and holidays that i spend, i cant seem to be happy or even come close.... i havent been able to since i was 12... but as of late, its like every day is a bad day and i cant cut because i tried and all i do is get pissed and ive stopped myself a bit so far, but i feel that if i do cut again its going to be the final one......not finished with cutting...finished with life....... and im really getting worried because i really think im going insane.... i have papers and papers of conversations with myself....not just talking to myself....writing it down word for word............and im really starting to scare myself..... Ive been suicidal for years and have attempted it twice..... but never seem to get so far as to end it.......my parents knew all this before, but i got them to believe that i was better, and i thought i was in the process of getting better..but now, its like im going back to square one.....but instead this time im in the full grasp of depression and suicide.....i know i need to go to a hospital for help..but i cant ask my parents......im at a loss of things to do and i dont want to end up getting pissed and irrationally say fuck it and kill myself...

    is there anyone who has ever been to a psych ward???? i dont want to go but i know if i dont get help im going to kill myself..........

    can someone tell me what happens in the psych ward.... or would i be better off going to a therapist??????? and how do i get my parents to listen without them catching me in the act........ please, i feel like one of these nights could be the end and im starting to worry that my "other half" is taking over..........
     
  2. bombeni

    bombeni Guest

    Yes I have been in a psych ward a couple times, though only for like a week each time. But if you are really having a hard time coping, it is a huge relief to be there, was for me, you just feel protected and safe. I would recommend it. I need to go myself, but I am fighting it bigtime because I just don't want to fall apart yet. My family thinks it's attention seeking and that only makes it worse. Right now I wish I could spend 6 months in a psych ward.
     
  3. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    what was it like day to day?

    i cant tell my parents because we're like dirt poor and have no means of sending ME to a hospital because i dont want to live......... and i dont know if our insurance covers it..... i dont know....i dont want to ask.......... because i dont want to go and i refuse to but i know i need it...........any thoughts?
     
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    At the very least, see, or ask to see, a therapist. Or call a suicide hotline in your area. If you don't trust yourself with your life, then someone else must be put in charge of your life for a while. By all means, tell someone - a professional, ideally - how you feel. There IS help out there, seek it now while you still can. Good luck to you and sending hugs and hope.:smile:

    least
     
  5. unzum

    unzum Member

    I know how you feel. I think hospitalisation might be the only option left for me now as well. I've already visited the doctor and been prescribed antidepressants and counselling but I seem to have gotten worse this last month.

    Try this link, it's about English hospitals but it does go through everyday life on a ward.
    http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/hospitaladmission.htm

    I don't know how doctors in America (is that where you are?) work but the first step would be to go see your general practitioner (GP) or a doctor and ask about it.

    I think you might be able to just ring 911/999 if you are feeling strongly suicidal and someone will assess you when you get to hospital.

    Again, sorry if this advice is useless 'cos we live in different countries but I really hope you do get help.
     
  6. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Hey let us know how your doing and welcome to SF!!!i think its really brave of you to think of reaching out.Well done.
     
  7. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    I've been hospitalized several times. least is right. If you need help staying alive, then someone else needs to take over for a while. Just until you can be safe again.

    I can tell you that it's not like what you see in the movies. Most of the other people there are usually just like you. Very depressed.

    If you can't afford it, there should be a state run hospital you can go to. That's where I have to go when I need it. In the hospital I go to, there's classes that you take on learning new ways to cope, breakfast lunch dinner and snacks, outside time, and meds.

    While it's no vacation spot, it can be helpful to get away from the stresses of your life and just let someone else take over for a while. It's there for 1 purpose: to keep you safe and alive.

    If you need help staying alive, I hope you'll consider getting it. You can PM me if you have any questions or just want to talk.
     
  8. patodemuerte

    patodemuerte Well-Known Member

    thanks...... ive just been so sad for so long and its so impossible to do anything anymore... everything has become so superficial.... there are no real relationships in my life... besides my dog..... but i don't know if he counts...


    i went to a school counselor today.... just for some information... he kept striking a nerve... always with the "S" word... suicide..... he kept saying that if there was even a hint of suicidalism he wouldnt hesitate to get me safe.....i dont really know what to think of that..... he got me some info on some of the hospitals and shrinks around here that go on a sliding scale.... i just dont know how im going to get my parents to see this......

    i went in his office and i was shaking and i kept like regressing back into myself..... i kept looking from the outside in on myself and he must think im over the rainbow by now.......... i could barely say a couple of words without tearing up a bit (i dont cry... can't. but i can tear up) we sat and talked about the random shit in his office for a while because that was the only thing i was able to get out.... afterwards he sent me to class... but first i went to the bathroom to pull myself together, so to speak... and i guess kind of flip out...... walking out of his office everything just dawned on me... whats going to happen to me eventually..... what will happen if i dont go to the hospital...

    anyways...im gonna go think on this........ try not to do anything irrational..... thanks for listening and responding....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2007
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