At this point I'm expecting most of my summer is going to be spent in a psych ward. I can't deal with reality any longer. I want to escape, to not have to worry about all the stupid shit... Unfortunately, despite how it looks from the outside, I know it's not a break from reality, unless I can get a sufficient dose of sedative to keep me unconscious. I've never been an inpatient on a psych ward. The psychiatrists I've spoken to have made it fairly clear that I would be surrounded by old nuts. I'm a 21 year old, ambitious young man. I shouldn't be cooped up in a hospital with old nuts... I should be beginning to live on my own and meeting girls and working interesting jobs. I'm considering getting Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation performed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation It's thought by some to be as effective as electroconvulsive shock therapy for depression, but without memory-related side-effects. I'm running out of options.