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psychiatrist appointment on tuesday..dreading

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by swimmergirl, Jul 6, 2008.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I went off my meds three weeks ago cold turkey because I wanted to die and I knew making myself unstable would help that process along. Well, now I don't quite feel the same way, and I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday (who by the way already knows I went off my meds because my therapist already phone her to tell her last week). I am going to feel a bit foolish going in there, and I am not sure what to tell her. I feel like she might be angry or think I am wasting her time, or I am afraid to tell her about how suicidal I was...but I need to go and get back on my meds, and need to taper back on them so I need to see her...fuck, I am so dreading this appointment. I hate looking like such a loser every time I fail to actually kill myself, does anyone else ever feel like that?
  2. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    First time I made an attempt I got interrupted and felt really disappointed and such a loser. I thought I can't even get this right. Then I didn't tell my counsellor about other attempts because I was worried about the action she might take. I told her about the attempts the last time I saw her, as I figured she is leaving and wouldn't do anything about it. I once hid my husband's mobile phone so she couldn't ring him and tell him and also deleted her messages off the answering machine.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Swimmergirl,
    I wouldn't worry about her . I'm sure she has seen it with other clients. Your doing what my therapist calls fortune telling. I'm sure if you tell her the meds aren't helping, that she will work with your doc. Together they can find the right combo of meds that help.
    Are you worried about maybe having to go in the hospital? It's not that bad. I have been in there ten times and have found the staff to be very helpful. The only bad thing is there isn't anything to do so it's rather boring.
    Which ever way they decide to go, just go along with them. You don't want the police to take you because then you have to go in front of a judge to determin if you are stable enough to let you out. Keep posting so we know what is going on with you. Try to walk in there with your head held high. They aren't going to harm you...:chopper:..
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Try not to worry about it too much, your Psychiatrist isn't there to judge you but simply to help you and understand you better in order to give you better and effective support.
  5. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    You know, if you felt so crap on the meds that you wanted to kill yourself and since coming off them you don't then this shows those meds probably aren't for you, and your psych REALLY needs to know that! I wouldn't worry if I were you.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree with Artifice. If you are feeling better after coming off the meds then something wasn't right about them. Tell your psych how you felt then and how you feel now. It is possible that you no longer need them or that you dosages need to be adjusted. Don't worry about the appointment. The psych may ask why you felt the need to stop them like you did. I am sure you aren't the first patient that has done that. The psych isn't there to judge, but to offer help. Things will work out. :hug:
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    good luck with your appointment tomorrow
    best thing, like everyone else has said, is to be honest, both with your original intentions and with how you feel now. let us know how it went?
  8. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I went to my appointment, it was sort of a waste of time. She asked me why I stopped taking them, but really not much else. She did switch me to a new med (because obviously the other one did not work). But I really feel like she was not listening to me or really did not care. I felt like, what do I have to do, slit my wrists right there in her office for her to see that something is wrong. Seriously. I am so angry and frustrated. Meds are just a little band aid on a big gaping wound.

    I really felt invisible. Maybe I need a new doctor. Or maybe I should just give up, maybe I am just a hopeless case. God, she really made me feel like shit.
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know that feeling exactly, i go to a public clinic so the most i get with the psych is 10 minutes. they are really focused on the medication, at the expense of everything else. but we are so much more than their labels and medication.

    are there other supports you can turn to, like a social worker or mental health nurse? some places also have a crisis team that you can talk to. don't be afraid to ask for more help. when it's an emergency, which is what this is, you can jump alot of waiting lists.

    it doesn't mean you are a hopeless case. you are just experiencing a really rough patch right now. you just need a little more support than what the psych can offer.
  10. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I would go and see someone else. Sounds like she made you feel worse. I went to a psychologist once, and he was horrible. After seeing him I went and bought some stuff to finish myself off!!! Then I cancelled the next appointment and never went back.
  11. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Suicide is like anything else. It takes work. You gotta do a lotta research. Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you to do it. But it's similar to a lot of endeavors. If you want a happy marriage - make an effort. If you want a new career - get ready to sweat. I believe the saying "get busy living or get busy dying" applies.
  12. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member


    I completely understand how you feel. I called my psych up 2 days ago, and finally told him that I was having suicidal feelings. It was a really tough telephone call to make and all he said to me is not to do anything stupid in condescending tone and that he will notify me when there is a cancellation from one of his other patients. It has been 2 days now, and I haven't heard anything since. I'm also considering getting a new psych since this one forgot my name a couple of times (after seeing me for about a year). I know they have lots of patients, but come on, if they can't even remember your name, how are they going to remember your history and see the big picture so to speak. I really hope this was just a bad experience for me, and I hope I get an appointment with a new psych soon, as I have come close to suicide many times this week.. I know what it feels like to be ignored, so please make an appointment with a new psych. I will do the same. Good luck! Keep us posted on how your doing.
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