Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by theOtherGuy, Feb 17, 2007.

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  1. theOtherGuy

    theOtherGuy Active Member

    For those of you who are in college/universities, who here has seen a campus psychiatrist/psychologist? I've been thinking for a while...that maybe I should go see one. Day in day out, I keep wondering to myself how I'm going to make it through school. Even if I don't...say kill myself...before I graduate, I don't know if I can graduate to begin with. Each day just gets worse and harder to concentrate on school all the time. My grades are just getting worse as each midterm passes by. I don't know if my grades are a result of my own stupidity, or simply the fact that I'm not focused.

    I sort of want to see one on campus. And you know what's weird...I'm probably the only one, but I sort of want medication. I don't know, it's weird. Regardless of whether it works for me or not (I can just imagine my first bottle of pills will be placebos), I just feel like I have this stigma from being depressed all the time. In a way, to me, I think that if I ever had the chance to get/take pills, it sort of validates the way I feel, rather than thinking I'm just a piece of shit everyday.
  2. DecayingAngel

    DecayingAngel Member

    I was seeing a psychiatrist while I went to college.

    My experience is different from yours in that I gather you are in college at a much younger age then when I went--in my thirties. But I had many misgivings and the stress of schoolwork was something that made me not only depressed, but frightened as well.

    You are probably feeling that way even more then I did. Please know that there is NOT any stigma to getting medication. There are some really good meds out that will help control your depressing thoughts. Right now you must be struggling trying to keep up with classes and also what is going on as far as your mental and emotional states. Imagine if you can gain control of the latter how much more you will get out of your classes and your college experience as a whole. It will be so much more enriching for you.

    I'm sure the college has hired mental health professionals who are well-versed in the apprehensions of students; depression is so much more common then you might think. And you may not even need meds. Sometimes having a professional and understanding therapist to talk to can do wonders.

    Right now you are fighting a war on two fronts--in the classroom and in your own head, so to speak. Don't be afraid to get somebody on your side to assist you. It wouldn't hurt one bit to just have an interview with a psych--myself, I prefer psychologists but sometimes both can help--and decide how best to continue in your learning endeavors.

    Being older, I don't want to come across as talking down to you. But one thing I learned by going to college after many years of working out in the real world is what a wonderful experience learning can be! My mind was opened up and I saw the world as never before.

    Please don't let these nagging thoughts interfere with what can be a wonderful time in your life. People will support you and see you get the right meds, if that is what is needed. Don't let the opportunity of learning be less then 100%. I'm sure getting help will put you on the right track and you will find you have much better concentration when you are not fighting these personal demons.

    Good luck to you.
  3. CJ87

    CJ87 Member

    Hey man really sorry ur feeling this way, it can be tough be depressed in Uni specially when everyone else seems to be havin such a good time. Even the fact that ur thinkin about seeing a psyhiatrist means u probably should and the fact that they r on campus means they will be specialised with student issues. I know exactly what ur sayin about the concentration but sometimes u got to take a step back and deal with the cause of the problem and not just the symptoms ie. the depression. That should take priority even before your studies. I messed up in Uni big time cause of my depression but hopefully i'll b able to go back when im ready and not have to worry about it. Even if u need to take a yr out it is not the end of the world and most universities are very accomodating about depression and mental health.
  4. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    It's always a good idea to get help because if you do think that you need help then your probably do.
  5. theOtherGuy

    theOtherGuy Active Member

    It probably is a good idea, but it's weird. At the same time, I really want to go, but then another part of me doesn't want to go. I really want to get through school, and that part of me wants to go. If I were to fail at school, there goes my entire life up to this point. It'll probably make me feel ever worse.

    And then there's the part of me that doesn't want to go. I get this feeling as if I would be too embarrassed to admit that I have a problem. Even worse, I think I'm afraid to approach this as a problem to begin with. Who to contact? What should I say? I really don't know. When I start thinking about it, I get this agonizing feeling. Honestly, I don't know if this is the easier part...I don't know. I also get this feeling that if I actually get to the point where I can talk to someone, I won't let loose. I have this feeling that I'm the type to hide things and won't admit everything completely.

    Then I come back to an overwhelming feeling. What if going turns out to be a complete waste of time. I'm already as hopeless as anyone can be. Personally, I still believe that nobody can help me. More or less, you can say that I think I'm a lose cause. And, I guess I have a preconceived notion that this won't help me...

    I don't know...anymore...
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