I can't sleep without Xanax. I can't feel happy in the evenings (the way I want to feel) without alcohol. It is a messy situation and it needs to stop, but whenever I try to take a break I last for only about a week before giving into the overwhelming insomnia and anxiety that crop up without my two nasty pets around. I guess the equation is: I feel semi-okay when I'm on Xanax and alcohol, and I feel like death without them. So why not use them?