Psychologists just don't care!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KnightFalls, Sep 4, 2013.

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  1. KnightFalls

    KnightFalls Well-Known Member

    Perhaps it is just me, but if you are a therapist and receive an email to cancel the next session from a client that just 4 days ago told you they were suicidal, wouldn't you ask a couple of questions to see if they are ok or at least see if they want to reschedule rather than just saying 'will do.'?

    And I am supposed to think he cares? He only cares for the hour I pay him to care.

    Why bother?

    This certainly did help my depression!
  2. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    Oh, man!

    Yeah, I understand that. You were hoping for someone to care enough to DO something about what was going on. Hoping someone would bother to look at what was happening. I'm sorry that happened to you.

    I care.

    Think of it this way - your psychologist is a tool (this particular guy, in more than one way, it seems): he has knowledge of mental health that you may be able to use to piece your life together, and for a price he is willing to share that with you. He provides a means to get something you need - like a tool in your hand. If the stuff he helps you with is useful to you, hold onto him, whether he cares or not. Let the people you personally connect to (at the very least, you have us here) care for you.

    On the other hand, if what he has to offer is not helping you...find someone else! You know what you need better than anybody else. :encouragement:
  3. KnightFalls

    KnightFalls Well-Known Member

    Thanks for that Psych. You are right. I want someone to care enough to do something about what is going on. to have someone other than my husband try to hold me together as I am falling apart. To have someone actually care enough to be concerned about ME and not pretend because of what they can get from me.

    But, I trusted in error. I knew I should have just kept it all to myself. I just want to cry.
  4. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    Oh, hon, don't keep it all to yourself! :hug: Just know what to expect, and from whom. A really good therapist does care. But even a bad therapist can help. Once you know which kind you have (you do, now), you know what to do with them. With your therapist, you need to look to someone else for encouragement, concern and closeness (which is really a shame), while your therapist can give you the tools you need to make the changes in your life and your thinking to overcome your depression.

    It's not right that you were not able to rely on your therapist to show concern when there were signs of risk. But remember that there are people there for you - your husband, your support system are loved. And maybe I am being unfair to your therapist. Maybe he was having a "stupid" day...ever have one of those, where it seems like all your intelligence drained out of your nose, and you miss out on the most obvious things? Maybe you need to clue him in on what was happening there, and how you feel about it.

    And then you have to make a decision - either stay with him to get what you can from him, or look for someone else who provides more of what you need.

    But, whatever you do, don't keep it all to yourself. You have a husband who loves and supports you, and you have us. We all want you to make it. And we care.
  5. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    I just read what I wrote in my first post. Some of it sounds pretty cold. I'm sorry.

    Sometimes I go straight to "advice" mode, instead of just being supportive. I mean well, and I want to be there for you. So many people have been here for me, and I don't want to not be there for people here when they have done so much for me.

    I guess what really matters is that I'm sorry that happened to you, I know it sucks when you feel like no one is concerned about you, and I hope you know that, even if I can sometimes be clumsy in giving my support, I care about you and hope that makes a difference for you. I know a lot of people do.

    Hope you get your feet back under you, soon.
  6. KnightFalls

    KnightFalls Well-Known Member

    No worries Psych. I did not take anything you said as being cold or unsupportive. I appreciate everything you said.

    It just saddens me even more that I reach out because I am having trouble and much like everyone else I have reached out to they show me just how disinterested they are (husband excluded of course). So I keep coming back to, why bother.
  7. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Knight.

    Just don't forget to reach out here...I'm sure that if everyone were here, we would all be offering you a :grouphug:

    More people might be here if it weren't for that :censored: n3tw0rkgod who hacked the main page of the site. Honestly, people in crisis, and he wants to bring the site down just for fun! There's an example of a first-rate asshole (pardon my French)!

    Have a good night, and keep taking it a day at a time. I hope to hear from you again soon.
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