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Psychosis | What Is Psychosis? | Signs Of Psychosis

Rain416

Trying to Stay Strong
#41
Hello all, it seems there has not been a post here for a while but I just wanted to say I've been through psychosis last year. It was really scary, and I believed that everyone in the world was trying to murder me. I was very paranoid and delusional for quite a few months.

What really helped me was finding a trauma psychologist. We talked it out, he helped me rationalize things, and gradually, I came to realize what was not real and what was real. I'm at the point now where I no longer have psychosis, though I still struggle with other mental illnesses.

I do find myself still getting a little paranoid, though. Does anyone know if that is normal after recovering?
 
#42
I've read all the posts here, and I feel one of you might be able to help me. I'm in a relationship with someone who I love very much, but they have started to display paranoid delusions(based on what I've read so far). He constantly accuses me of talking to someone on some device. Then he will leave, and when he comes back he accuses me of having sex with someone else! Which is preposterous! I don't know what to do. Can anyone help? If you need more info... just ask.
 
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Trixie

Well-Known Member
#44
After reading through this thread, I'm paranoid about being paranoid.
I have a very long, complicated psychiatric history that began 27 years ago after the birth of my first son in 1994. At that time I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and dysthymia. I wasn't put on medication for the first time until a couple of years later when I had a major depressive episode and attempted suicide for the first time.
Over the years I've had several different diagnoses; but schizophrenia was never one of them. It wasn't even until 2004 that a therapist considered the possibility that I "might" have schizoaffective disorder; however, to my knowledge, it wasn't given as an official diagnosis at that time.
Out of curiosity, I decided to look through the most recent records that I have from the last treatment facility. Those records are a mess, but I finally found the most up-to-date diagnoses that I was given up until that point. "Unspecified Schizophrenia Spectrum and Other Psychotic Disorder" was one of them with the note "Probable schizoaffective disorder."
I only have a vague sense that this was discussed with me at all. I honestly don't remember anyone telling me I was psychotic at any point, yet I found notes in my records stating that I was psychotic and non-compliant which explains a lot of their behavior towards me. The thing is, I could be wrong. I do tend to be inattentive and dissociative when I feel stressed, and treatment itself can be a trigger. I haven't had anyone in my life who I trusted enough to "reality check" my perceptions for such a long time that I don't feel certain about anything any more.
I think my most pressing question at this point is, if someone were to be experiencing "lack of insight" how would they even know they're delusional if there's no one around to tell them? Or worse, if I've been labelled non-compliant, how would I ever be able to convince them to "help" me?
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
#45
After reading through this thread, I'm paranoid about being paranoid.
I have a very long, complicated psychiatric history that began 27 years ago after the birth of my first son in 1994. At that time I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and dysthymia. I wasn't put on medication for the first time until a couple of years later when I had a major depressive episode and attempted suicide for the first time.
Over the years I've had several different diagnoses; but schizophrenia was never one of them. It wasn't even until 2004 that a therapist considered the possibility that I "might" have schizoaffective disorder; however, to my knowledge, it wasn't given as an official diagnosis at that time.
Out of curiosity, I decided to look through the most recent records that I have from the last treatment facility. Those records are a mess, but I finally found the most up-to-date diagnoses that I was given up until that point. "Unspecified Schizophrenia Spectrum and Other Psychotic Disorder" was one of them with the note "Probable schizoaffective disorder."
I only have a vague sense that this was discussed with me at all. I honestly don't remember anyone telling me I was psychotic at any point, yet I found notes in my records stating that I was psychotic and non-compliant which explains a lot of their behavior towards me. The thing is, I could be wrong. I do tend to be inattentive and dissociative when I feel stressed, and treatment itself can be a trigger. I haven't had anyone in my life who I trusted enough to "reality check" my perceptions for such a long time that I don't feel certain about anything any more.
I think my most pressing question at this point is, if someone were to be experiencing "lack of insight" how would they even know they're delusional if there's no one around to tell them? Or worse, if I've been labelled non-compliant, how would I ever be able to convince them to "help" me?
Hi Trixie,
hoping things are going well otherwise. i find i’ve got some interesting similarities with you in terms of diagnoses. …and our sons are apparently the same age too!!!😊.

i’m not sure i’ve ever read this thread and i’m kind of overburdened and overwhelmed presently to even try. i’m glad though that i’m able to have a light heart now and then to conceal the bad stuff.

i’ve been diagnosed as schizotypal and schizoaffective but what does that really mean if i’m able to live a fairly normal life? then again there are aspects to my life that are not so normal as well like no friends, self harm, my belief that i actually suffer from something like Dissociative Identity Disorder (that i’ve never been diagnosed with) that is called Ego State Disorder. There’s more plus i have about 10 diagnoses all together. i’ve written much here about what’s going on with me.

i’m presently in an intensive treatment program based on the diagnosis of BPD. my last therapist before the intensive believes i have Asperger’s. That could explain my “high functioning”. i think the point i want to make is that even with all the issues i believe i have, and with all the issues professionals believe i have, i‘m still able to think and share ideas. i’m not working presently only because i was laid off a year and a half ago just before covid but i think its the state of the world that disrupted my job search, not my mental state.

it is so questionable what illness or a disorder is, even when professionals make a diagnosis official. so when you express your concerns here, you do sound like you know your mind, you know what you are talking about and can express your thoughts well. i’m tempted to just say don’t worry but i know i’d hate to hear anyone say that to me. and i am not confident that the professionals can be taken as 100% spot on when they diagnose. and what they see in one person may be just as prevalent in many others who are not diagnosed at all.

and in this day and age, just what truth and fact really is, is in question as much as lie and fake. i think that a good portion at least of what has become so unclear these days is the state of the world‘s mindset not necessarily just the individual’s. politicians are making what may be false claims while scientists may be discovering that what we actually do observe may be different from the real reality! then there are studies that suggest that what a person remembers from past experience may be different from what others believe occurred, what really did occur, and what we do remember may be with certain embellishments to suit an individual’s needs not out of being deceitful but just one’s own perceptions.

i don’t know what i can tell you on how to respond to this. i struggle every day and do my best to keep my head above water. i try to keep as positive as a person who is overwhelmed can keep. its not easy.

non compliant is such a bad word for professionals to use! they have said i’ve “refused” meds when really i said i’d prefer to not take meds. some words imply a degree of belligerence in the patient that is actually not called for. why do they talk like that? to me it forces a patient into a category that they really are not a part of.

i could go on and on. i just hope that my take on this issue is somehow helpful to you. i think struggle is the name of the game. everyone does it even those like doctors and therapists and politicians who pretend to be all ok. but in seeking help, i really think a lot of the work is up to the individual. again i could go on and on about this so i‘ll wait to see if you want to hear more. i’m glad there are people to talk to on this site. i hope we can talk more.
 

Trixie

Well-Known Member
#46
but in seeking help, i really think a lot of the work is up to the individual.
I constantly have this belief in the back of my mind that no one believes anything I'm saying, that they think I'm exaggerating or attention seeking or otherwise just being histrionic in some way. That's not it at all. I sincerely and truly believe that what I'm experiencing is a matter of life and death. It's been that way for the entire 27 years I've dealt with all of this. I've felt this threat of suicide nonstop throughout all of it with little to no relief.

For the most part, I find the voices in my head comforting and helpful. I wouldn't want to be completely without them because they drive my creativity. Also, they've been there since I was like 9-years-old; so it was something that I grew up thinking was just one of those things everyone experienced and just didn't talk about. However, there are times when certain voices can be commanding, domineering, and flat out abusive. Over time, I've learned to talk back to those voices some; yet I still struggle considerably to not believe what they're saying. They're quick to point out that at the root of most of my phobias, there are good, rational reasons for them which makes it even harder to convince myself to trust others, especially those in the medical field when they may or may not have my best interests at heart.

And to give a good example of my paranoia, today after I posted this I laid down to sleep for a little while since I hadn't slept yet (a huge issue right now that may be making all of this much, much worse). When I woke up, I tried to check for responses to this thread. I couldn't even connect to SF. I wasn't able to connect until just now, not since 5 pm when I first tried. My first thoughts were, "I've been banned. I posted my thoughts and feelings, and I was banned for them." To make that even more confusing, I tried going to SF on my phone and connected right away; but I didn't sign in because by that point I was mad. Perhaps irrational, but it was so coincidental that I couldn't make sense of it.

My point is, stuff like that, weird coincidences or just random things that confuse me, happen with such frequency at this point that I often feel like I'm the target of some insane cosmic joke and everyone's against me. My life has felt so confusing for these last 8 years that I don't trust my own judgment; but at the same time I don't trust anyone else's either which is interfering with my ability to get the help that I need.
 

Wayne24

Well-Known Member
#47
I feel like my mental state keeps deteriorating but I'm aware of it happening. I cannot think straight for long periods of time. No hallucinations but pretty sure delusional thinking patterns. Can't focus at all and when I do my mind is fixated on a loss or taking my life. I thought it was just intense grief but I believe I've had a psychotic break. I've never experienced anything like this before and it's terrifying. Feels like I'll never be the same person again.
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
#48
I constantly have this belief in the back of my mind that no one believes anything I'm saying, that they think I'm exaggerating or attention seeking or otherwise just being histrionic in some way. That's not it at all. I sincerely and truly believe that what I'm experiencing is a matter of life and death. It's been that way for the entire 27 years I've dealt with all of this. I've felt this threat of suicide nonstop throughout all of it with little to no relief.

For the most part, I find the voices in my head comforting and helpful. I wouldn't want to be completely without them because they drive my creativity. Also, they've been there since I was like 9-years-old; so it was something that I grew up thinking was just one of those things everyone experienced and just didn't talk about. However, there are times when certain voices can be commanding, domineering, and flat out abusive. Over time, I've learned to talk back to those voices some; yet I still struggle considerably to not believe what they're saying. They're quick to point out that at the root of most of my phobias, there are good, rational reasons for them which makes it even harder to convince myself to trust others, especially those in the medical field when they may or may not have my best interests at heart.

And to give a good example of my paranoia, today after I posted this I laid down to sleep for a little while since I hadn't slept yet (a huge issue right now that may be making all of this much, much worse). When I woke up, I tried to check for responses to this thread. I couldn't even connect to SF. I wasn't able to connect until just now, not since 5 pm when I first tried. My first thoughts were, "I've been banned. I posted my thoughts and feelings, and I was banned for them." To make that even more confusing, I tried going to SF on my phone and connected right away; but I didn't sign in because by that point I was mad. Perhaps irrational, but it was so coincidental that I couldn't make sense of it.

My point is, stuff like that, weird coincidences or just random things that confuse me, happen with such frequency at this point that I often feel like I'm the target of some insane cosmic joke and everyone's against me. My life has felt so confusing for these last 8 years that I don't trust my own judgment; but at the same time I don't trust anyone else's either which is interfering with my ability to get the help that I need.
hey Trixie, I'm sure I never saw this last post here. I wish I did. I hope you'll be back here sometime soon. you've mentioned things that seem so similar. seems like there's much to talk about - and helpful.
 

Skully

Public Access
#49
I've got psychosis and schizophrenia among other things people found out and just avoided me more. I'm also autistic as well. People stare at me due to a diagnosis that I didn't ask for. It's part of me this illness but the people who haven't yet been diagnosed then self with any mental health well you never know what you will be told about yourself. So I'm a schizophrenic and psychotic etc but one day I won't be because I'm not going to be here after I've ended this misery. Sorry to say this hope no one's offended by this. Not my intentions at all. Suffering to much.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
#50
I matched most of these symptoms, but I know what happened to me was real. What I heard was real, and it was evil. That's why I also heard angels who helped save me from it. It makes me wonder, though, how many people who are diagnosed schizophrenic can hear other realms or dimensions of existence. Those whom I try to tell the truth to don't seem to believe me. How many times do you feel like you have to lie to those around you who keep asking whether you still hear voices, especially when you know that what you're hearing is accurate?
 

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