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PT 4 Surviving outside the 'majority'

Discussion in 'Strategies for Success' started by Lorax, Oct 30, 2014.

  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    This may be my last PT. hopefully these hope someone.

    I'm not the highest standing where i live, or with my family. I 'm an open atheist, was unemployed for most my life, live at home, had various addictions, and till recently had no concern about making money, plus i'm a-sexual.

    Naturally society tends to look down on these things. But you don't have to worry what they think. Hopefully these little steps can help if you're 'on the outside'

    1) No one else will live your life for you, so don't let them say how you should spend/ perceive it.

    2) You are not alone. Any minority group is still that, a group. You may feel alone, but there are lots of other people who share your views/ traits.

    3) You can't 'choose to believe' anything. If your community wants you to adopt their ideals, they are clearly insecure about them.

    4) You can't "choose" certain things. Sexual orientation, skin color, religious views, political views, ect. There's nothing to be ashamed of for being your self.

    5) Be your self, but don't be arrogant. You should know your self, and accept that. Never sit back and let your views/ traits be oppressed, but don't use your views/ traits as a way to try to be 'above' others, or be pushy. It will only further the culture wars.

    6) You can be open or quiet about your views/ traits. In some situations, it may be better to keep quiet until you can leave the area you are in.

    This is more, if you are under 18 and need your family to help keep you sustained. For instance, if they are very religious & will kick you out if you speak up. Or if you have a differing political view/ sexual orientation. Or if your community will physically harm you for being open. I'm saying not going out of your way to be open, just wait till you can leave.

    If your rights are being oppressed, that is different. There are laws for a reason. If you are being physically harmed by anyone, call the police. If it's emotional abuse, file a restraining order, if you get thrown out under age, CPS may be able to step in to help. If you are being harassed at school/ work file a law suit.

    7) People will disagree with you. Don't get upset if people's views don't match your own. Just let them go on their merry way, and avoid them if need be.

    8) "it's a phase" people change, yes. Our brain chemistry does indeed change with age till around 25. Life experience/ new environments change our perceptions. Change is natural, and we do go through "phases"

    Some things however are not "grown out of" sexual orientation can "change" over time. Usually since people lie to them selves about who they are attracted to, and grow to realize they are not who the community says they 'should be' or in my case, it took various experiences to realize i'm not sexually attracted towards anyone. It just doesn't create an emotional response, or a desire.

    This post isn't just about sexual orientation of course. Religious views change, you can gain or loose them over time. I had 3 before arriving to the conclusion i don't really 'believe' any of them. Politically I went from one end to the other, just from getting out of my school.

    Through all those changes I've had, i've come to a point where they are stable. Yes I went through "phases" but i was always at these base-points. I never really believed anything theistic, i said i did since my family told me i did. I've been in love many times, but I never wanted more than a relationship and hugs. I tried to get close like that, but naturally it was just stressful and non pleasant.

    The point being: you will change with time, but some things will not. No amount of hoping, or pretending can change who you really are.

    The basic takeaway: you should always feel safe & loved. No matter what your community says about you. Don't let other people tell you who you are, or who you should be. Be your self, and let others be them self.

    Well, i think this will be the end of my little self-help guide. Maybe i'll add more another time. I hope you can over come anything in your way. I've become much stronger with time, and you can too. Just don't give up.