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Ptsd—-wake only to wait for the day to end

EllieMay

Well-Known Member
#21
I have ocd, ptsd, anxiety and depression. I had a perfectly normal life until trauma at age 59. I then did things that I cannot forgive myself for. Have tried multiple meds....nothing has done much. I am in therapy. If not for my husband, children and soon to be grandchild, I would not be here...though I fear death and going to hell..Life is a living hell yet I go to work and put on a big smile...it’s exhausting,.
Do you take medication.
I di take meds but am reviewing them as they are useless. I have tried so many over the years and it's scary thinking that not a lot helps and the mental health system is underfunded. I am in th UK x
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#22
My life with ptsd the last 3 years has come down to waking up only to wait for the day to end. This feeling only changes when I take a benzo. So, I plan on doing thred things.....1. Telling my dr that benzos are the only thing that get me through the day ... will not mention the suicide aspect of it unless I am asked and even then I will advise that I do not have a plan as I do not and realistically cannot imagine doing it, 2. will tell her that as I am 62 with a life limiting disease, I don’t care if I become addicted to benzos if they give me quality years, and 3. I made sort of a ‘deal’ with Jesus (I returned to church yesterday)...told him that if he is not going to help me get better then please somehow, someway Just take me now. Though I have to say that I really do not want to go as I adore my family but this mental illness stuff is grueling. If you cannot have quality of life, then what kind of life is there?
Trauma destroys ..... had someone told me five years ago that I would writing this. I would have told them that they were insane....I had it all,
Thank you all for listening.
I empathize with you. Got PTSD 3 years ago. Body is in constant of fright now. May I ask what does your therapist say why you are not improving? Was wondering if you keep seeing reminders of trauma because you live, work, socialize etc where it occurred. I do and makes it harder.
 
#23
I empathize with you. Got PTSD 3 years ago. Body is in constant of fright now. May I ask what does your therapist say why you are not improving? Was wondering if you keep seeing reminders of trauma because you live, work, socialize etc where it occurred. I do and makes it harder.
yes...reminders of the person who caused this every day. Person works in my town,,,,,
 

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