Public Declaration of Independence From My Parents

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Godsdrummer, Aug 17, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I hearby on this day 8/17/09, do hearby make it known for now and forever, that I am not responsible for my parents with regards to how they live their lives and thier daily affairs.

    My father even though depressed in his own right, even though mentally screwed up, still knew enough to know right from wrong. Had to of, otherwise he would have spent 5 years in an insane asylum and not prison.

    Molesting a child, let alone your own granddaughter, does not happen because of depression. There had to have been something else.

    And....my Mother is complicate in this action. For my father had been suffering from depression for years prior to the action he took. My mom knew this but failed to get help for him, when he wasnt able to do so.

    So...now....now that they have moved away....now...that my father is mentally dead, now that my Mom is mismanaging her money and her health and then calls upon me to bail them out from trips to the Doc's to food to tobacco needs etc.....now it is on her.

    I want this made perfectly clear to all who read and for the whole world to know. Even with what happened, I love my father. I forgave him for what he did. Had it been my child, I dunno. But I do know that he suffered from grave emotional issues prior to his act. I love my Mother and I feel terribly for her struggles.

    And if there was a way I could be more supportive of them I would.

    But, I can't.

    I work 2 jobs. Total 7 days a week, equalling 60 hours.

    My full time job requires a 45 mile one way trip to work and another 45 mile one way trip back home.

    My wife works 2 jobs.

    We do this so we can survive. Our money issues are perilous on our own, having filed a chapter 13 bankrucpty and in November converting that to a Chapter 7.

    I don't have the physical time or money to help them. And....my Mom knows this. And yet, still she calls.

    I could take a day off work to help here and there, but my time off is limited and winter will soon be upon us. And I have to manage that time off to ensure I don't loose my job.

    I could quit the part time job but then bills wont get paid.

    Perhaps in November, I can quit the part time job enabling me to have the weekends to deal with them.

    But not until.

    Now my mom should be and is smart enough to manage financially on her own. She may need to make tough decisions, but that is part of being an adult.

    But whatever happens, it is not my fault.

    I have my own family with 2 great kids and a loving wife that needs me.

    That is where my focus is, and shall forever remain.
     
  2. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    BTW...I have to do this..if I am ever going to recover from depression and continue in my recovery from alcoholism, I have to do this.

    When I post suicidal posts because of my parents, I have to do this.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I, a member in ( I hope) good standing at SF duly state that I have read the declaration of independence penned by forepetesake, and on this day 08/17/09 declare to aid in this quest in way possible or that I have at my means, to support and offer advice and freindship to the above named.

    Ok got a little carried away(lol). Just my silly way of saying proud of you and I'm here if you need a friend!
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you have decided to take care of you in all this. Your parents will survive without you it is amazing how soon they adapt. Remember we are here to help you okay and remember Leave the Phone OFF the hook tell them phone not working. Take care
     
  5. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    well done! You have every right to do what you have to do!!

    I am so happy for you :biggrin:if you feel yourself struggling with the change we are all here to support you :hug:

    Rose
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Exactly what you need to do Bill. I am proud of you for taking this step. I know how hard it must be.If you are tempted to slip back into the old ways in dealing with your parents, remember what brought you to this decision in the first place. You were willing to give up everything that means something to you because of their choices. Your life is too precious for that. Ask your children. Nothing can replace you as their father. They need you. And you need them. Thank you for your courage. :hug:
     
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