Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by screweduploner, Feb 17, 2007.

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  1. screweduploner

    screweduploner New Member

    My form of self-harm is punching. I never thought of it as SH, but the more I have read about SH, I think it may be.

    Whenever I make a mistake, I always, always beat myself up on the inside with words. When it is a big mistake, or an especially stupid one, I do it on the outside.

    Most often this takes the form of punching my legs repeatedly, around the knees. A few times I have punched myself in the gut and even the face, but never enough to do much damage.

    Once--and this is particularly scary--I punched my surgically repaired ankle. Now THAT hurt! As it should. I deserved the pain twice: first for making the mistake, and second for punching myself there.

    See? I justify it. It is a form of self-punishment.

    I have thought of harming myself with more than just my fists and my words, but those seem to do just fine. Thing is, I know it's not right...it just feels like the right thing to do at the moment.

    A couple of my friends know about it and seem to understand. One is a co-worker. I made an error that affected him, and when he told me, I started going at it, but before I could punch myself more than once, he yelled, "Hey, it's all right, let's see what we can do to fix it!" He distracted me enough to where I didn't go back to hitting myself. Now if I could do that in my own mind...
  2. zusanna

    zusanna Active Member

    hi, i used to do this when i was younger. i'd say it's a little better alternative to cutting and things of that nature.. unless you are hitting yourself really hard and causing damage i guess.
    at 14 i had terrible insomnia and would hit myself in the face to try and knock myself unconscious so i'd finally get some sleep. more than once i gave myself a bloody nose.. i remember kind of enjoying it but yeah.
    i would recommend going into some kind of therapy for it, as far as like, having a counselor recommend ways for you to stop, and work towards goals with them.. if this is more of an instinctive thing, maybe hypnotism would help? i've had friends who had good luck with that to stop smoking, biting nails, things like that.
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