Thought i could be strong. Made it this far now just throw it away. Im gonna get rid of these feelings. Punish myself. Everytime they enter my head, its time to self harm. I just did 3 burns on my leg. Where no one can see them. Everytime i think about it im gonna do it again and again and again and again until its gone. I'll associate feelings for people with physical pain and then no one can get hurt except me. Right now i dont have any plans to stop. PUNISHMENT IS WHAT I NEED, PUNISHMENT IS WHAT I WILL GET.