1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Punishment

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by purplefizz, Sep 29, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. purplefizz

    purplefizz Senior Member

    In the past, I had a ritual where every time I didn't stick to my plan, I cut myself. They were not necessarily emotionally charged cuts, nor were they severe, they just acted as a reminder of how much of a failure I am. It motivated me to do well so I would not have to cut myself. I've recently started doing this again. Every day that I digest food (aside from popcorn, and a couple other safe foods within my limits), I have to cut myself. I was forced to do so today. I know it doesn't solve anything, but I feel like I need to be punished for my sins. I feel like such a failure lately. :sad:

    Am I weird? :unsure:
    Anyone else have weird rituals like this?
     
  2. SweetVitriol

    SweetVitriol Antiquitie's Friend

    No hon...You are not weird..

    Years ago (When I could get away with it) I used to throw myself against walls or cut myself to punish my weakness..It was also a way of providing a reminder of my weakness to spur myself on towards oblivion..

    Now I am unable to do this because I would be struck off if the cuts and multiple bruises were ever seen so I rely on psychological goading and abuse to push myself..One of my new techniques is to work myself into exhaustion..5 x 13hour night shifts a week where my only focus is work and I do not have time to think of the hunger nor anything else but my job...

    I know we do strange things in the name of our mistress..but ever think that you have to suffer this alone hon... x
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.