punishment

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by KittyGirl, Oct 7, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I feel so stupid...
    Because of a pre-existing condition, I don't get hungry very often at all. Maybe once a week, my body will say to itself; "Oh! I need to eat! Get some food into me, quick!" but as for the rest of the time, I have an alarm on my phone that goes off 2 times a day to remind me to eat.

    Lately I have been ignoring it.
    I just don't care anymore.
    I feel fat and useless and ugly and just want to stop completely.
    I'll use not feeding myself and emotionally-induced purging as punishment for being useless...
    I know it's not going to help my self image, obviously- but I just don't care anymore.
    What am I supposed to do at this point?
    How do I stop making excuses to punish myself through these means?
    All of this stress building up is not helping me to want to feed myself... I just want to waste away.
     
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Have you got any support?

    A councellor? A therapist? A friend?
     
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I do... although talking about my eating problems with my councilor hasn't really helped me to stop at all.
    I'd rather not talk about it with people if at all possible... I mean... I should be able to just fix this problem all by myself but I'm obviously having trouble.
     
  4. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Do they have any experience is advising about eating disorders though?

    Why do you think you should be able to fix this yourself?
     
  5. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I don't know...
    And I just figure it's my problem and I should be able to just fix it on my own.
    I hate asking for help with anything because if I can't do it myself, then maybe it wasn't meant to be done differently in the first place? -__-
     
  6. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Oh Vane...If only it were that easy.

    Sometimes life throws at us things that in a perfect world, we should not ever have to experience. Stuff that no mother or father could protect us from or teach us how to overcome the resulting pain.

    Your inability to resolve these issues, is not a reflection of your strength (or lack of)...it's just a simple case, of sometimes we need help. Some things are bigger then us.

    You are worth more then you tell yourself. And you deserve to be loved and supported through this.
     
  7. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I wish I could begin to believe that.

    Thanks anyways, Domo
     
  8. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    That's ok that you don't believe it, for now.

    And that's what friends are for, to believe in you and be strong for you when you need help.

    Please just reconsider talking to your counsellor about this?

    I promise that you don't have to do this alone.

    There are many people here who care a great deal about you.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.