pure ache

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meagainstme, Apr 2, 2007.

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  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    ive got a physical pain in my stomach, from the mental pain.

    im clutching myself cus i cant handle this anymore.

    i really think its time to go. i really do.
    the only thing that scares me is, incase i fail, and then i have to deal with everyone around me knowing.
    fuck i cant even cut cus ive promised my gf i wont.
    fuckkk.

    i want to go :( RIGHT NOW.


    im fantasising about methods. preparing myself for the perfect time. fuck it hurts to even think about this. i really dont know what to do. im just trapped in this.

    i am NOTHING.
    no one likes me for who i am. fuck them. i hate them all. i hate this world. i really cant see anything i want to hold onto anymore.

    ive got the money to run away for abit. id love to. alone. just go.

    think i might do that actually...
     
  2. Hereforyou

    Hereforyou Active Member

    Hmmm Well you do have someone that cares about you, your gf and me too. I care about everyone and i'm not just saying that. I'm not advocating running away but if that can help you sort things out. Temporarily dissapear for a while. I mean dont leave your gf or people who care about you hanging. Tell em in a note or something that you will be back and you're safe and are going to find yourself

    Jus my 2 cents. Less damage than committing suicide.

    I hope your stomach stops hurting.

    Joe~
     
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey trapped. I take it your girlfriend knows about your self harm, does she know about your suicidal feelings, too? It would be good if you could talk to her. I think it's best to talk about your feelings, than to try and kill yourself and either succeed leaving people you care about wishing they could have helped more and/or wishing you told them, or to not succeed and like you said, to face the after effects.

    Support is good, having someone to talk to can be beneficial and you'll feel better for it and it could also be the first step to getting out of the darkness.

    Please take care of yourself. :hug:
     
  4. BrooklynRider

    BrooklynRider Well-Known Member

    Hi Trapped-

    I'm Rob. Glad you're here.

    Listen, take breath. I can relate to exactly how you are feeling and all those impulses to self-harm. The urge and need is something folks can't understand unless they've been there. I've definitely been there. My story is in this Suicide Forum section. My self-harm practice is in the Self-Harm section. Neither are particularly cheerful reads, but it will let you know what I am about.

    I totally get the gut feel for where you are emotionally. Can you tell us what is going on in your life? A little background on what is triggering this stuff?

    You are going to find a lot of support here. Please PM me if you want to talk some more.

    Keep breathing deep and get the issue out of your head and into the forum. We're all here for you.

    Rob
     
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