Purging mentally

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sunnypseudo, Jul 21, 2016.

  1. sunnypseudo

    sunnypseudo Well-Known Member

    I'm wondering what is anyone's take is on the idea of more or less purging, or ruminating in the issues to get over it. It all gets overwhelming so I tend to ignore it. I try very hard not to think about it at all, but there are times I can't help it. So what's better? Swim around in the muck for a while or keep trying to avoid the puddles and blindly stumble into it? Choose it or let it take you by surprise? I don't like lingering in my filth, I prefer to pretend it never happened but things bring it up. This gs bring up different things. I end up remembering things that don't help in the sense that I just keep hurting. I have this ability sometimes to draw, just let the pen go. I feel rotten on the inside for a while, but sometimes it passes faster. I say sometimes because it isn't a guarantee. I have been feeling off lately though. I really don't want to dive into more issues, not yet. I haven't been able to see my therapist, can't afford the co-pay, and in the face of possibly moving again I don't want to start over again,and just wait to find out if we are leaving. I am watching others who have been abused in... ways I don't want to talk about, and they all seem to be able to move on, it doesn't bother them on a daily basis. They have resolve that it wont. I can't do that. I feel so ashamed..

    Anyway, thoughts comments questions and answers are sought here.
  2. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Neither is helpful for me. If the idea is to ruminate until a decision is reached then I suppose that has value. But then it wouldn't be called rumination.

    Try not to live in other people's heads. You have no idea if they are doing well or not. But keep thinking good things for them.

    Shame is very powerful. It takes away so much and gives nothing in return. The question is, do you want to live in shame or simply live your life? Fight those thoughts and beliefs that make you ashamed. Crush them each and every time they push to the forefront of your thoughts.
  3. sunnypseudo

    sunnypseudo Well-Known Member

    I know those people don't always have it together, but I do envy their resolve. I try not to think about it, but it is one of many voices that gives me examples of how weak I am.

    Sometimes when I think on the past I get some clarity as I can put pieces together for my current behavior. Unfortunately no matter how far I've come in figuring things out, some behavior issues are worsening. I know this will pass, but in the meantime I feel very stuck and not sure what to do currently.

    I have been working on keeping myself distracted by painting, cleaning. I've been trying like crazy to even make physical improvements like working out, limiting coffee and increasing water intake. It's a real fight. I don't know it it will make me better or if I'll break..