Purpose?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kdn, Nov 2, 2014.

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  1. Kdn

    Kdn New Member

    I've been having suicidal thoughts since I was in elementary school and attempted once. When I'm really busy though, I obviously don't have time to ruminate and I'm fine. This year I got married but although I love my husband, I feel nothing sexually towards him or anyone for that matter. I just feel... Empty? I don't know, I think I kept giving myself a purpose to keep me going -first grad school, then falling in love. Now there's nothing I want to accomplish, nothing I feel gives me meaning. Nothing makes me happy, not even my husband (even though he's very supportive, kind and loving). I don't even care about having children because I think, "how can I teach them to love and embrace living when I don't?"
    I feel like I should see a therapist but I don't know if I'm overreacting. I saw a therapist last year but he kept relating things in my life to himself, which doesn't seem right.
     
  2. Sophaloph

    Sophaloph Member

    I also feel the same way- what is there to live for? I don't want children cos I don't want them to be messed up like me- and I can't have a boyfriend cos I can't depend on my mood being right- so I'm just existing til something shifts. I think you should see your doctor or another councillor- it's important to see someone you feel comfortable with and who can help you. Does your husband know how empty you feel? Maybe you can talk with eachother. Keep posting xx
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome,

    If you did not feel you were getting the benefits you should have been from your therapist, get another one. For some people it can take a while to find the right one, I know that's a pain but you need to keep trying. You sound to me like you are numb with emotions and that is common with depression, are you taking any medication? I was thinking if you are it could be causing the way you're feeling or perhaps you need a change or it adjusted. I do wish you well and hope you do not give you because while depression is a nasty awful illness that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy you have to keep in mind that it IS treatable and you can enjoy life!! Please keep us updated because we do care!!

    Hugs :)
     
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