Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by asfsdfsdfs, Jul 11, 2007.

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  1. asfsdfsdfs

    asfsdfsdfs Guest

    I'm tired of asking this question and having it shrugged off. Each night I come back from class and have homework to do. Each night I ask myself the same question: Why do it? I have never found an answer. Sometimes I do it and sometimes I don't. I am starting to fail routinely now, and while the question "Why continue"/"Why strive" has been there for years now, it's of particular pre-eminence now that there appears literally not to be a purpose to continue exerting myself in the minimal fashion I've kept up so far; after all, if I decide to do my work twenty five days out of fifty, I fail. So what's the point in trying at all?

    If I can't get an answer to this question, I am going to fail my only class this quarter. If I fail this class, my parents are not going to pay for my next class. It's deeper than that. If I can't find a "why", I won't be able to hold down a job (know this for a fact because about three weeks ago I lost my first job.. walked off it in the middle of my shift because I was sick and tired of being there and was subsequently terminated). I think I am at a turning point whether I wanna be there or not and need an answer.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hello! I've been where you are, I struggled so hard in my final year at school. Fell behind, didn't feel like doing any work and I was clouded with the thoughts I was going to fail, which made me feel like giving up more. I think positive thinking plays a part here, if you believe you're going to fail, then you're going to think "What's the point?" and you're not going to work to your potential because you just give up. Instead, think "I'm not going to fail", and it can help you work harder.

    If you have depression however it can make tasks harder and the depression in itself clouds our thoughts into giving up. Are you going through any events in your life that are stressful? Can you talk to your parents about this? It may be beneficial to talk to your tutors too, if they know what's going on and how you're feeling you can go from there.

    Do you know what you want to do with your life careerwise? If you have a set goal in mind, try focusing on that and hopefully your determination can help get you through it. Don't give up, talk to someone. Take care of yourself and I'm here if you want a chat anytime. :hug:
  3. asfsdfsdfs

    asfsdfsdfs Guest

    My parents know that I feel this way. I always used to say that there is no such thing as an attempted suicide, you either do it or you don't; well, I ate my own words when I tried and failed. It seems as asinine to me now as it ever did, the only difference is that now I'm one of those people that decided one moment to try to get the hell out and then the next that death's just too scary.

    My teachers are teachers, they are doing their job when they pass or fail me and they can't motivate me if I can't motivate myself.

    All my career goals are pipe dreams. Maybe I'll become a doctor! or a novelist! or a CEO! or a... you get where the picture. The fact is that I don't want to be anything. I don't want to do anything. I want to sleep and not wake up. I do not want ever to exert or experience in any way shape or form, ever again. I don't really want that, obviously, it isn't something you can want the way you want food or drink or sex. But through process of elimination, a person can determine that nothing, food, drink, or sex, is worthwhile, because all of these things occur in a context and the context is what I hate.

    I hate waking, getting up, and having a day in front of me. It may as well be crushing me. I don't want to be medicated; I don't want to appreciate the day. I don't want to be. What reason is there? I don't see it!
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