What it all comes down to is I want to die, simply because life is purposeless. I don't believe in God, or that we are put on this Earth for any reason... So I cannot enjoy life, when there is no substance to anything, it simply just is... How can I ever recover from this? I've lost my faith and I feel there is no turning back. I can remove all the pain in my life but the joy has no meaning to me. And so it disappears.