As i've stated before I came here to speak my peace and that was about all I really wanted. Unfortunately it didn't work out to be that simple. I would apologize to the person(s) who have made me feel so bad about having the feelings and emotions that I do, but, it's not up to them to push another user away. I didn't expect to be treated as a special case here. I didn't think any user would attach themselves to me so greatly as to make me feel bad for not replying to them or even taking it outside of the board here. They did nothing against the rules but they certainly did make me feel like s**t for coming here in the first place. I made the mistake of opening up, that was my error and I can not take that back, but, I can say that trying to help a fellow user of the board and trying to guilt and pressure them into contacting you outside of this forum are two completely different situations. I tried to be peaceful and just walk away but damnit it's not right. Our words are our own and if the effect another here deeply then great, but, if you ask those persons to stop and back off then they should respect that and respect your wishes. I never though a pro-survival forum could actually be a trigger to push me even further off the ledge. Unfortunately I can't say this without hurting those who tried to be nice and help, but, unfortunately that is what I do, all i am good for is hurting those who try and help me or get close to me. I warned in the begining that it would be a mistake to try and get too close. My space was invaded and the damage is done. The individuals I speak of even went so far as to threaten to leave the board like a child running instead of trying to peacefully co-exist in this realm. I can't make them stay or go but if they can't handle the reality that some people can't be saved, can't be stopped, and chose this forum as their last resting point on the road of life before taking the final steps then maybe they need to think twice about being on the board themselves. Everyone has the right to live or die by their own rules, even if the government, religion, or any belief says otherwise. We are each our own person. I can respect that. Can you all? Sorry to rant and rave like this but i had to get that out before it truly made me explosive to those I need around me at the last days. If the mods choose to edit or remove this post then so be it, but heed my words, we are not shrinks or doctors, we are people and we try to be friends, but, when that goes too far there will be repercussions.