pushing away loved ones

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ChrisImissyou, Mar 19, 2010.

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  1. ChrisImissyou

    ChrisImissyou New Member

    I wanted to post and get some feedback. My brother committed suicide in 2003. It was a long time ago but its still causing me problems.
    I feel guilty about distancing myself from my in laws because I do not want to go through the pain of losing anyone again. It was just too painful .. once is enough. How I can I correct this. My inlaws are very generous people, so how do I get rid of this guilt and stop pushing people that care about me away.
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you lost your brother....
    Maybe talking to a therapist would help you deal with the fear you have of becoming close and being hurt again....
    take care...
     
  3. ChrisImissyou

    ChrisImissyou New Member

    Thank you .. I am going to look into talking to a therapist, just wondering if anyone experienced something similar..
     
  4. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear this, my brother committed suicide in 2000 on his 21st birthday, it still causes me problems 10 years later. I think you need to address the issues regarding your brothers death before you can move on (easier said than done). You don't need to forget what happened, just try to come to terms with the fact that it happend. Hopefully then, you can eliminate this guilt and not push family away.
     
  5. ChrisImissyou

    ChrisImissyou New Member

    your are right .. we never really get over it. It just changed me somehow. I was depressed for the first 3-4 years.. I cannot believe its been 7 years.
    my wife told my inlaws about how I was feeling towards them. I would rather she would not have. I had guilt, grieving and now embarrassment.
    my parents are getting old. my wife's parents are getting old.( both 70's)
    before my brother died I never lost anyone before. I was too young for grandparents that died early in my childhood. His suicide instilled a lot of fear in me of losing others in the family. My parents live some distance away from me but the inlaws live very close. We do things with them all the time..
    well I am rambling.. back to work..
    Thanks for the reply....:smile:
     
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