I've been doing well with not letting things get to me but recently something has happened that's a bit upsetting & leaves my mind a bit in shambles...
I sometimes spend time with my boyfriends mother, I love her like family & usually we have pretty decent conversations. Shes a drinker which I usually can tolerate but her comments lately have been very very very trying...
Somehow my ethnicity has been brought into the equation... to my surprise & out of nowhere shes told me 'Appreance wise I'm not what she wanted for her son.' It was explained to me she originally wanted to see him with someone who looks drastically different than I do. I have a tan complexion being mixed race, dark hair.. the ideal image she expected was someone but pale, Auburn red hair & must have glasses. Details to the T. Even explaining the style she would wear, etc. Just going over it gets to me a bit... I dont know how to confront this. I was already getting used to constantly hearing how I look "too thin & starved", & now this too. It's happened quite a few times now. The first couple times, I kinda laughed it off, knowing booze is booze & people can say the darndest things but my overthinking has me questioning it with the multitude of it mentioned almost days in a row; is there an underlying truth to it? I have in fact tried mentioning it to mellow out the problem only to be told I look too much into it & shes kinda just laughed claiming 'I'm a bitch, it's what I do'.Never ever thought of her that way, & with my respect I still do not think that about her... I was told I'm not allowed to bring it up to anyone (by her), especially not my bf but I dont quite like being told constantly I cant express my true emotions. My boyfriend doesn't know what to do about it with how other conversations have gone. Am I wrong for being upset about this? With how blatant she was I think anyone would be a bit taken aback but I dont know... is there a way I can confront this a bit better, especially with such a bold personality?
I sometimes spend time with my boyfriends mother, I love her like family & usually we have pretty decent conversations. Shes a drinker which I usually can tolerate but her comments lately have been very very very trying...
Somehow my ethnicity has been brought into the equation... to my surprise & out of nowhere shes told me 'Appreance wise I'm not what she wanted for her son.' It was explained to me she originally wanted to see him with someone who looks drastically different than I do. I have a tan complexion being mixed race, dark hair.. the ideal image she expected was someone but pale, Auburn red hair & must have glasses. Details to the T. Even explaining the style she would wear, etc. Just going over it gets to me a bit... I dont know how to confront this. I was already getting used to constantly hearing how I look "too thin & starved", & now this too. It's happened quite a few times now. The first couple times, I kinda laughed it off, knowing booze is booze & people can say the darndest things but my overthinking has me questioning it with the multitude of it mentioned almost days in a row; is there an underlying truth to it? I have in fact tried mentioning it to mellow out the problem only to be told I look too much into it & shes kinda just laughed claiming 'I'm a bitch, it's what I do'.Never ever thought of her that way, & with my respect I still do not think that about her... I was told I'm not allowed to bring it up to anyone (by her), especially not my bf but I dont quite like being told constantly I cant express my true emotions. My boyfriend doesn't know what to do about it with how other conversations have gone. Am I wrong for being upset about this? With how blatant she was I think anyone would be a bit taken aback but I dont know... is there a way I can confront this a bit better, especially with such a bold personality?