This is hard to explain. I have my own apartment, but my job is not close enough to the bus line and so I stay at my great aunt's house. Well, it's more like the family house as my mother and cousin also live there. Even before I got my own apartment, I have never really felt comfortable being around my family (or people in general, but especially family). I tend to stay to myself in one room but I have to go and do things like to go to the kitchen. I wanted to get breakfast but doing so was difficult. My mother is kind of obnoxious as she makes....noise and by that she sings out of tune or makes little annoying comments about what she's doing. She hadn't finished making breakfast yet and so I went back to my room.
When I went back to the kitchen a little while later, another relative, my other cousin that lives across the yard from the family house was now talking to my mother in the kitchen. She has a tendency to just stay around for a long time. Sometimes when I have gone to get groceries and she's there, she will making these little jokingly comments about what I'm buying. She will ask me what stuff specifically and I just find myself feeling annoyed and not really wanting to talk. A part of me feels bad, but I just don't feel comfortable. I took a step back and went back to my room for a few minutes. I tried to tell myself how rridiculous I was being and mapped out how I would just get a couple of things to eat, put them on a plate and come back to my room. But now my cousin that lives here in the family house was now in there and all three were sitting down and talking (my great aunt is 97 and eats in the den area where the tv is). So I went back into my room.
After a while, I noticed my mother was in her room so I went back into the kitchen, but turned back around once I saw my two cousins still there. The cousin that lives in the family house yelled out to me to come in the kitchen and get what I wanted but i just kept walking back to my room. I find her to be really aggravating. She was living in another state until she got laid off due to what's going on in the world. But even before that, she seemed to not do much with herself. At one time, she was living with my mother in our old house for a couple of years. She lived in my old room. She eventually got a house of her own, but it got foreclosed after just a few months of moving in and she ended up staying in my old room for about three years. Maybe if she was younger like in her 20's or 30's this wouldn't be bad. But she is in her early 60's and despite having a master's degree in computer science, she chose to work in some dumbass megachurch I guess assuming this would offer financial security when it probably did for the greedy pastors and their inner circle(sorry for the rant but I had some negative experiences with that church.).
I feel like I'm gossiping or bad mouthing them and I know a lot of this is just me being asocial or whatever it is. But it is really hard being around them. My cousin that lives here just at times hovers in one place, mainly the kitchen. Or she will have the tv on in the living room which is now her room but be in the den area. And now she has taken to sleeping in the den at night, which is a bit irritating because some mornings when I'm getting ready for work, I will hit her feet as I'm walking by or run into the heater in the den, trying to avoid hitting her as I walk by.
I'm sorry for rambling and if this didn't make sense. I'm not really sure where I was going with this other than do other people feel just as uncomfortable around their families as I do?
When I went back to the kitchen a little while later, another relative, my other cousin that lives across the yard from the family house was now talking to my mother in the kitchen. She has a tendency to just stay around for a long time. Sometimes when I have gone to get groceries and she's there, she will making these little jokingly comments about what I'm buying. She will ask me what stuff specifically and I just find myself feeling annoyed and not really wanting to talk. A part of me feels bad, but I just don't feel comfortable. I took a step back and went back to my room for a few minutes. I tried to tell myself how rridiculous I was being and mapped out how I would just get a couple of things to eat, put them on a plate and come back to my room. But now my cousin that lives here in the family house was now in there and all three were sitting down and talking (my great aunt is 97 and eats in the den area where the tv is). So I went back into my room.
After a while, I noticed my mother was in her room so I went back into the kitchen, but turned back around once I saw my two cousins still there. The cousin that lives in the family house yelled out to me to come in the kitchen and get what I wanted but i just kept walking back to my room. I find her to be really aggravating. She was living in another state until she got laid off due to what's going on in the world. But even before that, she seemed to not do much with herself. At one time, she was living with my mother in our old house for a couple of years. She lived in my old room. She eventually got a house of her own, but it got foreclosed after just a few months of moving in and she ended up staying in my old room for about three years. Maybe if she was younger like in her 20's or 30's this wouldn't be bad. But she is in her early 60's and despite having a master's degree in computer science, she chose to work in some dumbass megachurch I guess assuming this would offer financial security when it probably did for the greedy pastors and their inner circle(sorry for the rant but I had some negative experiences with that church.).
I feel like I'm gossiping or bad mouthing them and I know a lot of this is just me being asocial or whatever it is. But it is really hard being around them. My cousin that lives here just at times hovers in one place, mainly the kitchen. Or she will have the tv on in the living room which is now her room but be in the den area. And now she has taken to sleeping in the den at night, which is a bit irritating because some mornings when I'm getting ready for work, I will hit her feet as I'm walking by or run into the heater in the den, trying to avoid hitting her as I walk by.
I'm sorry for rambling and if this didn't make sense. I'm not really sure where I was going with this other than do other people feel just as uncomfortable around their families as I do?
